Torn
by meekaelaela
Summary: In the process of forging peace for the Grounders and the Sky People, Clarke Griffin worms her way into the stoic Commander Lexa's heart. Unknown to her, she also leaves an impression her co-leader, Bellamy Blake. Clexa/Bellarke
1. Chapter 1

**This is my first the 100 fic! Writing this with a good friend, and I am very excited to see how our vision takes form in this story. Reviews are much much appreciated!**

* * *

_Monaw_.

Lexa voiced out her thoughts when the familiar sound of the _Monaw. _A swift feeling of panic came over the Commander replaced by the feeling of dread. Lexa knows she must act fast to be able to save her warrior and Clarke.

_Clarke_.

The thought of her name in her head made Lexa look at the girl beside her. She notices the panic on Clarke's face as a realization dawns on her. Quint did not kill her guard.

_Quint. That traitor._

Lexa thought long and hard in a span of seconds. They were wasting their time in the woods, not knowing that the _Monaw_'s ground was close. Although they have not seen or have been attacked by it for a while, now was not the time to be afraid.

"Run!" Lexa screamed at her companions. Clarke followed behind the three of them as Lexa led them to hide away from a creature she knows they cannot outrun, especially with Clarke's injury. Seeing the blood flow from the wound Quint has given her made the Grounder Commander hell bent on exacting her justice. Clarke is her equal. The alliance the girl introduced was exactly what she needed to instill balance in the clans that she has unified.

But was that all she expected from the girl?

Seeing her for the first time reminded Lexa of only one person. _Costia._ Not a lot of her people have a light shade of hair like Costia or even have her eyes, the color of the sky when rain would not come and the sun is harsh. Harsh like her demeanor, that was Costia. She was not to be taken lightly. A true and honorable warrior until her end, an equal. Her equal.

_Clarke is my equal._

They reach a clearing, a ruined structure that once held animals before they became the creatures that they are now. Silence followed as the reach an entrance to a cage they can use to hide. Lexa stops as she notices the silence, thoughts barely clouding her senses. She looks over at Clarke and her guard to keep quiet as she turned around, looking for the Monaw and stunned as the creature takes them by surprise by jumping in front of them.

The next moments barely register to Lexa as she watches the Blonde run along side her. It is only when she feels a sharp pain on her shoulder that she realizes that both she and Clarke have jumped a from a couple of stories above the concrete they have landed on.

The commander almost doesn't make it through the cage doors as the Monaw gets a hold of her feet.

It was the end. She knew it was the end. Her eyes never leave her Sky counterpart, wanting the blonde's face to be the last thing she ever saw.

_Bang._

_Bang._

* * *

Lexa looks around her only to find out that Clarke has saved her life. She frowns.

Why would Clarke do something so foolish? Her thoughts are interrupted as her nostrils are invaded by the blonde's scent, leaving the Commander powerless as the concept of personal space disappears between them. Her eyes look away as the blonde ties a piece of cloth to use as her a sling for her injured shoulder.

She tells the Skaikru's young leader that she has once again showed weakness. Lexa laughs bitterly in her head as she tells Clarke that caring is a sign of weakness. How dare she say those things when a large amount of the care she has in her body was directed towards the very same girl across her?

Their conversation is cut off by the sounds of the Monaw echoing through the small cage. They both lean against the wall, panting slightly at the thought of having to face the creature once again.

"Death is not the end, Clarke." Lexa says, trying to comfort the other girl. Her heart flutters as she hears Clarke mutter something about her spirit staying where it is, and for the third time that day, she gets lost into her thoughts of the blonde who reminded her strongly of her lost love.

* * *

Lexa, sat against a tree root, cradles her shoulder as she watches the blonde in a restless sleep, the Monaw's growling still heard at a distance. She knew how much Clarke cared for the one they called Bellamy. Lexa frowns as she realizes how much the thought of Clarke caring for Bellamy, loving him even, bothered her.

After one particular loud growl from the creature trapped in the samge cage they were in earlier, Clarke snaps up, looking around with paranoia. Lexa's heart breaks a little as she sees the panic coursing through the blonde.

"It's okay. You're safe." She calls out to the other girl, now sat up just a few paces before her.

_You will always be safe with me._

* * *

Pain shoots through Lexa's shoulder as her exhaustion gets the better of her. As she and Clarke neared camp, they start to slow their pace. Seeing the blood seep through the deep wound Quint gave Clarke made Lexa feel even worse than the injuries she attained. As much as Lexa wanted to keep the silence and lament on the fact that she had admitted that the blonde's heart shows no sign of weakness, Clarke began to speak, "I'm sorry about your guard, Lexa" she says.

_Leksa. _The sound of her name of Clarke's lips almost made her face the girl. Almost.

"It was not your fault. His fight is over." Lexa continues to walk as she sees the entrance, still avoiding to turn and look at Clarke, look into her eyes as blue as the sky under a harsh sun.

"_Yu gonplei ste odon"_ Lexa finally turns to Clarke as she heard the girl whisper, empathy in her voice.

"_Em gonplei ste odon. _His fight is over" Lexa corrects Clarke. The Commanders heart stammers for a moment, noticing Clarke's interest in her native tongue.

"_Heda!"_ screams her people and that was how she let the stammering stop, put her heart aside.

_Hod in ste kwelnes. _Love is weakness.


	2. Chapter 2

**At this point, the story is still diving in and out of the AU and Canon Universe, amd might continue doing so in the forseeable future, but I hope that does not change your opinion of it!**

* * *

On the day of the war meeting with the leaders of the twelve clans Lexa had successfully united, Octavia spent half of her time shadowing the Commander's fiercest general. She half listened to Indra's commands and reminders, but half of her brain was afloat, still wondering where her lover could be.

The sight of the Commander, who has decided to peek out of her tent for what seemed to be the tenth time that day, gets a dry chuckle out of Indra, prompting Octavia to snap out of her trance. The general chooses not to comment on Octavia's distraction, but raises her eyebrow at Octavia's curious glance.

"I never thought I'd see the day the Commander nervoulsy lurking around camp." Octavia notes, attempting to make small talk with her superior. Indra rolls her eyes at the young warrior and mutters something about the Commander not even feeling the slightest of nerves at meeting the leaders of the twelve clans before walking away.

Octavia makes a face at her superior's usual sour mood before jumping up at the sound of the said superior bellowing for her once again.

* * *

Bellamy sighs as he realizes that he was once again late in checking in with those at the Ark Station. Clarke's co-leader stayed silent as he and Maya made their way into the storage unit where the radio was hidden. He was hoping that the said blonde was not there when he made his latest report. He knew she was going to say something about his punctuality, and Bellamy hates the sound of him disappointing his Princess more than most of the things in this world.

Hearing his partner's voice the first time and every other time after that made his heart jump in ecstasy, not only because he has succeeded in one of his easier missions, but because that voice reminded him of home. Hearing her say his name made determination rush through his body with renewed vigor.

_He had to get out of there, he had to._

As he walked closer to the radio once again, he took a deep breath before pressing the button that contacted his friends.

"When we say check in ever three hours, check in _every three hours_."

He winces when he hears her tone. He knew his wish being answered was a long shot.

* * *

Lexa realizes she has been found out when Indra shoots her a knowing look from across the camp. She maintains her stoic facade but immediately removes her hand from where she was holding her tent's flaps. She lets it fall before her face and then walks away to sit down on her throne.

It amazes Lexa how her general can read her like a book.

Of course she knew. She was one of the previleged few who was able to interact with _her_. Lexa knew she wasn't the only one who was reminded of Costia everytime Clarke had graced them with her presence.

It had started when one of the people she had sent with Clarke and Abby back to Camp Jaha came rushing back to Tondc with a report on some Mountain Man's attempt to assassinate her Sky Counterpart. She had wanted to rush towards Camp Jaha, but decided against it after learning that a target was placed on her back as well.

Instead, she sat and waited. She had attempted to interact with her people but had realized she knew better than to expose herself to the assassins probably hiding in the woods.

That was until Indra and Octavia had come through the gates of Tondc. The latter still seemed shaken for some reason. Indra had taken the task of reporting every single thing that happened in Camp Jaha, and before Lexa could even stop herself, she had questioned her general about the Sky Princess and how she was doing, resulting in an unusual reaction from the said general. Instead of adressing her general's questioning looks and pressing for answers, she dismisses Indra, but not before ordering her to send a guard to follow Clarke around.

Today was supposed to be the first time she would be seeing Clarke after their encounter with the Monaw, and she was growing impatient. The blonde should be here by now, but every time Lexa peered outside her tent, Clarke was still nowhere in sight.

* * *

Bellamy knew that everything was in his hands for now. He was currently talking with Raven and Clarke, who apparently decided to monitor his progress instead of attending that war meeting with the Grounders, sending Kane in her place. _At least I know she worries about me_. He smiles inwardly at that thought.

As he crawled towards the sound of the drilling, the thumps of his heart against is chest became harder and more frequent. Bellamy knew he had to control his breathing and make it seem like he wasn't afraid. The last thing he wants to happen is both Clarke and Raven and maybe even his little sister finding out just how afraid he is of being the only one who can assure their side's victory for now.

His insides turn as he sees one of the kids he saw alive and well a couple of hours ago lying stiffly on the metal table, with a hole on his side. The two women over the radio share his horror as they listen in on the conversation between Cage Wallace, Dr. Tsing and Emerson, who apparently has recently interacted with the People of the Ark.

Before he can even register anything else happening, he realizes that Clarke has taken off, leaving him in the care of Raven who was definitely more than capable of assisting him in his mission.

* * *

Lexa stayed inside the tent as the rest of Tondc hustled and bustled for the war meeting happening in a few hours. Her mood hasn't improved much, especially because Clarke was still missing in action.

Her thoughts are interrupted when she hears a set of horse hooves followed by a couple more thundering into the village. Her face contorts into a small smile before she replaces it with the mask she is always seen wearing. She hurriedly, but carefully walks towards the exit of her tent.

She freezes just by her tent, seeing as it was a different sky person in attendance, and he was walking towards her.

"Clarke sends her apology. Something has come up in Camp Jaha." Says the sky man who first earned Lexa's respect. She doesn't realize it, but not just Indra, but Octavia and Kane also notice the small change in her demeanor.

She nods at Kane before turning back towards her tent, vaguely hearing Indra's second inquire if Clarke's absence had something to do with her brother. She sighs in relief when she does not hear the older man's answer.

She didn't want to hear him say that Clarke has chosen Bellamy instead of her. And she knew that was the truth.

* * *

_She came_.

The sight of Clarke made the Commander smile inwardly. _So she decided to come anyway._ The look of distress on her Sky counterpart caught of her off guard. Something is wrong, that was why Clarke came.

"We need to talk in private." says the Blonde, the tone of her voice restrained. Lexa nods and leads her to the room where they were supposed to meet with the other leaders.

Clarke relays to her the conversation about a missile that she overheard through Bellamy's radio. Lexa listens intently as Clarke is determined to evacuate everyone in Tondc.

"There's still time. We could at least lead them out" Clarke pushes her resolve, ignoring what Lexa had to say. This is the very reason why she's trying to believe, and make Clarke believe, that Loving was weakness. She now knew that as much as it would hurt her, she only had one way to try and convince Clarke otherwise, so she strikes where she knew it would hurt, even if hurts her as well.

Lexa knew that it was the only way to get Clarke on board. She starts talking about Bellamy, the same man who didn't even know that the Commander saw him as a threat. She tries to reason out to Clarke, bringing in Bellamy's safety and possible success or failure into play.

She gets Clarke's approval, finally, but her heart breaks at how easy it was to sway her decision when Bellamy was put into the equation.

Once again she reminds the blonde about Love and Caring being signs of weakness. If only the blonde knew how hard it was to pretend to be heartless in front of the very person who holds most of your heart.

"My people will know. They will look for me when they find me gone. The Woods will keep us safe." Lexa informs the other girl.

Even with reservations about Lexa's plan, Clarke leaves with her anyway. They walk out of the makeshift room in silence and have covered a distance, although not enough, away from Tondc. _She will be safe with me, that is all that matters now._ A light feeling came over the Commander at the knowledge of Clarke warning her, and her only about the missile.

Clarke pauses midway, dread filling her face. "No. Why is she here?" Clarke whispers and runs back to Tondc.

"Clarke! No!" the Commander screams. _Come back, _two words she knows that even if she shouts to the Blonde, it would not keep her from saving her mother. _She will be safe._ Lexa acts quickly and runs a safe distance away. A flash of light from the sky made her stop and duck down to the ground. She faces Tondc and looks over as the missile hits the camp.

_Clarke._

Lexa's face contorts into that of anguish as she realizes that Clarke may have been right at the center of that explosion.

_This cannot happen, not again_!

* * *

_She lied to me_.

Octavia was in Tondc and Cage is about to launch the missile. Bellamy knew that thinking about his sister's safety will distract him from completing his mission. Raven made that crystal clear, _crystal clear _that Clarke lied to him.

He felt a slight pain on his chest at the thought put quickly put it aside as he disconnects and reconnects wiring as a distraction to help the 47 escape. Bellamy remembers the old leader that had told him about what he can do to buy them some time. He recalls that the President's own son turned on him, blinded by his ego. Bellamy can't help but feel a tinge of sympathy for the older man, he never would have imagined turning on her mother when she was still alive.

A lot of the 100 were imprisoned because of protecting their parents or helping their parents. _Just like Clarke_. He related to her, especially because she was imprisoned because she helped her father who was only trying to save everyone in the Ark.

Their bickering and arguments were only just part of his act to show her he's the better man still, never would he admit how he could understand her more than anyone. How he cares for her more than anyone, he would die for her without a second thought and it was not only because she stood up for him countless of times.

"Bellamy you still there?" Raven's voice tinged with worry comes out of the radio on him and snaps out his trance.

"Yeah sorry, I was just checking if anyone would come out here" Bellamy voices out a partial truth, not admitting he was thinking of something else.

Raven must have been calling him out for a while but she ignores his obvious almost lie. She instructs him to standby as she checks for how Bellamy could get to their next task.

Bellamy could only think of one thing now as he awaits in agony, wanting to to something as soon as possible. Only one thought crosses his mind as he'd rather live in that memory forever. _Clarke's scent and touch as she ran to hug him. _It was always more than a hug to him.

* * *

**I honestly believe that Lexa's tactics in the episode were executed with good intentions. And Clarke's decisions WERE for the common good. She is a leader and hard choices come in, one way or another. Yes, Lexa influenced her decision, but it was a concious decision on Clarke's part. She knew what she was getting into. Nobody was forced to do anything. Right? Right? Just sayin.**

**Anyway, this chapter has been longer as this is a thank you gift to all who read and subscribed and favorited and reviewed. Reviews are still very much appreciated! Lastly, props to my friend and co-author Kai (whose penname i do not know) for balancing my Clexa feels with her Bellarke feels. Long rant over.**


	3. Chapter 3

Lexa started leading her people at a very young age. Quite frankly, leading was the only thing she knew how to do. Of course she was an exceptional warrior, but that came with being commander. On the contrary to what she exudes, Lexa was actually most caring Commander the Trigedakru has seen. Her people always came first, _always. _That was why she chose to let that missile hit. It was all for the bigger picture. Her people deserved to have a standing chance, and sacrificing Tondc was a price they had to pay.

Lexa knew she had to think of her people, and she did, but at that very moment all she wanted to do was find out if Clarke was alright. All she was thinking was how she wasn't able to keep the Blonde Girl safe, and she can't help but wonder why this kept on happening to her.

Maybe what she has been saying to Clarke has been right all along. Maybe, just maybe, caring and loving _was _a strong sign of weakness. She takes a deep breath and berates herself for thinking of Clarke before thinking of her people.

With another shaky breath and a tug at the cloth over her head to continue concealing her identity, she walks towards the destruction that used to be Tondc. From her right, she sees her fiercest warriors, including Indra, walking towards the destruction with Marcus and some of his guards in tow.

_They must have gone to the woods to check on us_.

From her left, she sees Octavia and surprisingly, Lincoln rushing towards what used to be the center of Tondc. She couldn't make out who, but across Octavia's shoulders, an arm was draped, with the arm's owner limping beside her. In Lincoln's arms, she could also make out the form of a woman with blonde hair.

_Please. Let it be Clarke and her mother._

Lexa's eyes stay on the couple coming closer, as Indra instructed the remainder of their suvivng people to search around the rubble for survivors. She vaguely hears Kane give the same orders to his people as she sees that the woman being supported by Octavia was no other than her counterpart's mother herself.

She sighs in relief as she realizes that the mother and daughter have made it out of the village just in time to avoid the missile hitting. Her relief doesn't last long as she takes in the sight of Clarke, unconscious in Lincoln's arms.

* * *

When they are near enough, Octavia springs into action, setting Abby to sit on an unharmed rock before running off to help with the rescue team. Lincoln moves to put Clarke down on the ground, but Lexa puts a hand on his arm, stopping him from setting her head on the dirty ground.

Lincoln doesn't show his surprise as he sets Clarke's head on the lap of the now seated Commander. He nods at Lexa before turning around to help with the rest of the remaining people.

As Abby stands up, Lexa's eyebrows furrow. She questions the blonde's mother, asking her why she was moving at all. Abby does not even glance at Lexa before ordering a group of both tree and sky people to help her create a makeshift medical bay. She also enlists the help of Octavia and Lincoln to scrounge around for supplies they might be able to use.

"All Clarke needs is some rest, Commander." Octavia says, walking towards Lexa. "I think she hit her head, but not too hard."

Lexa nods and stops herself when she realizes that her hands were already combing the smaller tangles of Clarke's hair away.

* * *

Once the Medical Bay was set up, one of the Sky People Guards offers to take Clarke from her arms, offering to lay the blonde down on one of the makeshift cots situated on one side of the former village.

She lets him, but she follows, and watches as he makes his every move. She stops when he sets her down on a cot and then walks to sir on another rock as he walks away from the two of them.

Once the guard was far enough, Lexa lowers her defenses enough to stare guiltily at the blonde sky girl. All she had to do was keep the girl safe, and she wasn't able to do that. She feels eyes on her and looks around, finally spotting the pair of prying eyes.

Not too far from where she was seated beside Clarke, the blonde's mother was looking at her lividly. Abby tilts her head towards a deserted area, motioning for Lexa to follow her. The Commander looks at the blonde before following the Skaikru's Chancellor.

"You and Clarke knew! You both knew and you let your people die!" Abby whispers to her furiously and her tone very much accusing.

Lexa remains stoic as Abby continues to give her a piece of her mind. Lexa raises her hand, stopping whatever else Abby had to say. The Chancellor stops mid-sentence, and the Commander takes this as a sign to speak.

"What would you have done then, if you'd have known?"

"Have everyone evacuate immediately-"

"Do you think that evacuating them would not compromise Bellamy's job by finding out that their plan of attack was found out?"

"Then there would be organization. We would have enough time-"

"There would be no time then, Abby of the Sky People. This is war, people will die. I have lost more of my people than the lives that we have lost today. Clarke and I would have never decided to let those people die without reason. You may not trust me, but I have seen more wars than you have in your lifetime. I do not wish death for my people, or your people for that matter." Lexa wanted to add that while the older woman technically held power over the sky people, everyone knew that she had no say, not when her daughter is the only thing keeping this alliance together.

Trying not to create unnecesary enemies, Lexa gives Abby a look before walking farther into the woods, leaving the Sky Healer alone.

* * *

Lexa continues walking slowly as Indra joins her pace.

"_Heda. Klok laik no em" _Indra states with a stern voice which almost caught the Commander off guard._ She is not Clarke._ Almost.

_"Disha laik no em. Disha laik a gonplei _Mountain Men _to klir oso gonakru, Trigedakru."_ This is not about her. This is about a fight with the Mountain Men to save our people, the Woods Clan. Lexa replies, unwavering. She is well aware of who Indra is pertaining to. _Costia._ Indra has always suspected that the Commander will notice the similarities the moment she would meet Clarke of the Sky People.

"I hope you keep that in mind then, _Heda."_ Indra keeps her mouth shut for the rest of their walk. Lexa keeps her general's warning in mind but keeping it all in mind is different from what she is feeling. She is not even supposed to be feeling anything.

* * *

Raven rushes to Tondc when one of the guards in Kane's entourage returns to Camp Jaha with news on what had happened. She was able to make another radio that would be able to reach Bellamy on Mt. Weather and wanted to test it out with Clarke as she left Wick to produce more of the weapons she had already started making.

"Raven, you there?" Bellamy's voice booms over Raven's radio

"Yeah, I'm here. I just got here at Tondc."

"Is Clarke alright? Have you seen Octavia?" worry starts to fill Bellamy's voice which was very unbecoming of him. Raven notices that he also mentions Clarke first, but of course, chooses not to say anything about it.

"Chill Bellamy, I just got here. I haven't seen Octavia and I'm just about to see Clarke."

Raven enters the makeshift Med Bay and approaches Clarke lying down on a makeshift cot with Abby by her side. Clarke opens her eyes for the nth time that night and her eyes widen when she catches Raven's. She sits up instantly making Abby scold her to lie back down.

"You have a concussion, Clarke the least you could do now is just lie down." Abby sternly instructs Clarke as she guides her to lie back down.

"I'll be fine mom. Hey, Raven, did Bellamy report anything else yet?"

"I was able to make this radio that we could bring anywhere. It would be useful when we prepare ourselves outside Mt. Weather." Raven shows Clarke the radio she brought. "Nice headgear, by the way." The Mechanic says, pointing at the cloth around Clarke's head.

Raven half listens as Clarke explains that it was Lexa's idea of keeping their status of being alive a secret and that she put it on the moment she woke up. She instead, tries to make sense of whatever it is that is going on with the blonde's partner. Raven makes a mental note to ask or atleast try to snoop about it when they get Bellamy out of that hellhole.

"I'll go check on the the other patients." Abby leaves the two girls with a reserved voice. Once the older woman was out of earshot, they get down to business.

"Anyway, Bellamy?"

"Raven, you there? Are you with Clarke now?" As if on cue, Bellamy's voice comes out of the radio.

"I'm here. Octavia's safe. We didnt'-"

"Its okay, Clarke, no one is blaming you." Raven cuts her off before Clarke voices out her guilt. Other than the two leaders, only Bellamy and Raven know that they knew about the missile.

"It was a way to protect more than just one village." Bellamy reassures Clarke as well.

With both her friends consoling her, Clarke decides that she has everything they need at the moment to plan their next move.

* * *

Lexa and Indra remain quiet as they walk back to the remains of Tondc. Lexa still has the cloth on her head, and nervously tugs at it everytime she remembers her conversation with her General.

"Is there a problem, _Heda_? I apologize if I have overste-" Indra asks from a few paces behind the Commander.

"_No. Ba ai laik odon_. We are not talking about this anymore." Lexa says, cutting Indra off before walking faster towards the makeshift medical bay.

Lexa mentally slaps herself. What is with her and walking out of conversations today? She blames the missile and leaves it at that just as she nears Clarke's cot.

Indra rolls her eyes and shakes her head. The commander may be tough all around, being the best warrior there is but a child will always be a child. As always, her heda acting like a normal teenager tugs a little at Indra's heart. Not enough to make her smile or anything weak like that, but Indra admits to herself that sometimes, it gets to her.

* * *

Lexa stops in front of Clarke's cot where the blonde's mother, Kane, Raven, Octavia and Lincoln are gathered in a discussion.

"She's the Commander!" Octavia insists. "She won't just casually bunk with anyone!"

"Fine! Then she can take my-" Lexa clears her throat, cutting Clarke off.

"_Heda_." Both Lincoln and Octavia greet at the same time. She nods at the two before addressing everybody else.

"Have I interrupted a private discussion? I apologize. Would you want me to leave?"

"We were just talking about inviting you and your guards to stay with us at Camp Jaha for a few days, Commander." Abby answers as Clarke and Kane shake their heads. Lexa hides her surprise at the woman's sudden attitude adjustment.

"Since we have limited space, I offered to share mine and Octavia's tent with you. She rarely stays over and when she does, she share's with Lincoln in the one he and Bellamy usually use." Clarke explains to Lexa before the brunette could say anything.

"And what is it that I cannot do because I am Commander?" She asks directly at Octavia.

"Share a tent with anyone, _Heda_."

Lexa's heart suddenly thuds as the idea of sharing a tent with Clarke sinks in. Suddenly her palms are sweaty and she thinks her eyes suddenly widen.

"Of course the Commander may not share with anyone!" Lexa slightly jumps at Indra's voice behind her, but she composes herself immediately.

"Which is exactly why I offered mine." Clarke says, still seated on the cot. "I can share with Raven and Monroe."

Lexa laughs quietly and subtly as she sees Raven roll her eyes at the blonde. Nobody knows, but the brunette's excessive anger amuses her to no end. Without a second thought, the commander opens her mouth. She does not regret it at that moment, but she was sure she was going to, at some point.

"I do not think Raven appreciates that idea, Clarke." Lexa says, addressing the Blonde for the first time. "I wouldn't mind sharing with you. It will not take more than at least a couple of days anyway."

Everybody turns to the flustered mechanic as she tries to explain herself to the Commander. Lexa, while shifting nervously, stops her and confirms that she really does not mind, calming the brunette down easily.

With the subject of the Commander's room assignment out of the way, everybody in the circle starts discussing plans about the Trigedakru army staying with the Skaikru. Lexa tries to immerse herself into the discussion but all she could think of was how _fucked_ (no, not literally) she was going to be.

* * *

**Change of plans. We're going AU from here onwards. We might add bits and pieces of canon, but this will mostly be AU now. So I have finally learned Kai's penname, and it's FireAndMischief. She's writing TVD and Harry Potter fics, so check her out if you're into that. If you're into Glee, Pretty Little Liars and Twilight (I know, i know) on the other hand, I invite you to my page. Also, will be raising the raiting of this fic to M because we all need to have our fix of swearing once in a while. I tried not to, but it's really inevitable. Another long rant over!**

**P.s. i would really appreciate more reviews! We'd love to hear your thoughts!**


	4. Chapter 4

_Bang. Bang._

Shots fired outside of the ruined Tondc woke the Commander from her light slumber. She quickly stood up. Everyone was at the makeshift Med Bay as the rescue team from Camp Jaha helped the search for survivors under the fallen structures in Tondc.

Indra insisted that Lexa should rest as they wait for the rescue teams to finish. Lexa had just started to close her eyes, almost into a dream she never knew she would experience again. _Costia_. She was alive and smiling to her as if she was calling to her.

_Bang. Bang. Bang._

The Commander just got outside when a shot got Indra in the chest. Her guards quickly covered her and led her inside while another guard carried Indra to one of the makeshift cots.

"Its the spotter. The one who distinguished the right spot where the missile would hit. He obviously has a sniper." Clarke was at Lexa's side with her bandaged head. Her Sky counterpart was restless as she was. Probably only getting some sleep because of her concussion.

"We must find him and kill him. My people have suffered enough and he has the nerve to shoot the ones that have survived." Lexa's eyes turn dark with anger. It was bad enough that she had to leave her people to die and yet the one's who have survived would be gunned down by a mere man. _Not a chance._

"I will go and track him down, _Heda."_ Lincoln steps forward. The Commander does not hesitate with her decision.

"I will go with you as well. That sniper had caused this village as a target of that missile. He shall suffer the consequence of crossing me." Rage enveloped the Commander's demeanor.

"I'll go too. I can take him out from afar." Clarke's eyes share the darkness of rage as Lexa's. Even given her recent injury, it did not stop her Sky counterpart from extracting what little revenge they can do. "He must have been shooting at the rescue teams who are extracting the survivors from the fallen structures. We have to create a distraction."

"I can help with that." Raven comes up to them and holds up a small explosive. "Its a small smoke bomb. It could block the sniper's view of people coming in and out of the Med Bay."

"Let's use it then." Clarke nods to Raven. The Commander, Lincoln and some of Lexa's guards stand at ready for the exit.

Raven activates the smoke bomb and tosses it outside.

* * *

Jasper and Monty rally the remaining kids of the 47 in the 5th Level's Mess Hall.

"I hooked up a radio to frequent with Bellamy's so we can hear from him too and I also connected this screen to access the camera feeds from outside so we can see when their soldiers attack us." Monty shows Jasper the camera feed from just outside the Mess Hall's entrance.

"Monty? You getting this?" As if on cue, Bellamy's voice booms out of the radio.

"We're here, we put up a barricade at the Mess Hall entrance and disabled the camera's here inside. We hooked up one of the screens to see the feeds from the camera's outside." Monty reports to Bellamy all they've done so far to protect themselves as he searches for a way to disable the acid fog.

"Can you try to hook your radio up to Raven's though?" Bellamy knew that Clarke would want to hear from them as much as he did when he got to Mt. Weather.

"I have to hear her through on the frequency settings though so you have to get your radio here." Monty looks over at the camera feed from outside the Mess Hall and notice one of the doors burst open.

"Bellamy they're here we've got to prepare. We'll keep you posted."

"Roger that." Bellamy looks over to Maya as they look over the maps that she got from one of the supply rooms.

"I heard from the communications a while ago that its just a small team coming over to the Mess Hall for them to check the extraction." Maya points to the disposal shaft at the 5th level Mess Hall. "They air lock the disposals to prevent from contaminating a room. We can use that to move everyone out of the 5th Level and hide them from there."

"I've established a team that can help with hiding your people but they have to split up. It buys us more time for you to disable the fog." Maya's father helps them in their plans because of his part in the resistance of the presidency of Cage.

"Let's get this plan worked out then." Bellamy can't seem to get to trust anyone too instantly. _I have to do this. We'll be fine._ He puts aside his doubts and readies for the extraction of the small squad to the Mess Hall.

* * *

With Indra down, Clarke and Lexa out, Kane busy with scouting the perimeter for anymore snipers and Abby tending to every survivor brought to the Med Bay while worrying about not being shot, it was up to Octavia to make sure everything else worked in order. The sky girl turned grounder warrior had been left by Indra to take charge, which is why even hiding behind the rubble, her mind was working extra hard to get to the other people safely.

Raven watches Octavia call out orders to the others behind her, thinking how Bellamy would be so proud of how much his sister had changed from her early days on the ground. Raven had heard stories about Octavia when she had landed in an escape pod not so long after the 100 had, and she couldn't even see that Octavia in the one she's seeing now. She thinks about how much life has changed for all of them and how not even more than a year ago, the ground was nothing but a dream.

"Raven? You there?" Her thoughts were cut off when she hears Bellamy's voice crackle out of the radio on her side.

"Right here, Bell. What's happening over there?" She asks, curious as to why there was a small murmur of voices behind Bellamy's.

"I'm with a group of people from in here who refuse to be part of the sick ways of the mountain men. Maya and her father and their friends are helping us. What's going on there with you guys?"

"There's a sniper trying to target the people who survived the missile. Your sister's currently trying to make sure we save the rest of the people under all the destruction. We think some are in the crater."

There's silence on the other end. Raven thinks she lost Bellamy on the other end.

"Clarke and the Commander brought a small team to hunt the sniper down. Lincoln's with them." Raven adds.

"Lincoln made it back?" Bellamy asks in surprise. After his last encounter with his sister's lover, his mind immediately went to the younger Blake. He frowns when he realizes that it was honestly the last time he thought of Octavia without thinking of his blonde co-leader.

Octavia was supposed to be his priority. Everything he had done was for her. His sister was the only family he had left, so why had he forgotten about her? How dare he even put himself before the very same person he vowed to protect with his life?

_Clarke_.

He sighs when he realizes that he had to get her out of his mind for now. This war was far more important than his feelings, and he had a shitload of people to save before even worrying his petty love problems. For now, he was going to forget about his feelings.

"Bellamy? Can you hear me?" He snaps out of his thoughts when he hears Raven's voice.

"Sorry Raven. Look, I have to go. Look out for Clar- Look out for Octavia for me, okay?"

He does not wait for Raven to respond before lowering his radio's volume. He sighs again.

Trying to pretend his feelings don't exist is going to be hard.

* * *

Lexa spent the rest of the search for the sniper watching Clarke.

_I almost lost her, and she doesn't even know how much power she has over me._

They reach a higher ground to be able to see the perspective of the sniper. Lincoln lead them, followed by the Commander, as he tracks disturbances on the plants.

Clarke almost trips over a log but the grounder guard hold her arm for support. Lexa looks over her warrior and nods him, wondering if he noticed her slight worry for Clarke.

_Stupid. I should not be obvious. _Her people must not see her slight moments of dismay whenever Clarke is in trouble. _Hod in ste kwelness._ Loving is weakness. Weakness is not something she should be expressing especially with a war that is soon to come.

"There." Lincoln whispers and gestures over a camouflaged barricade with a sniper's gun sticking out off a small opening. They all lay low as Clarke moves forward as they view the side of the barricade where the sniper is at his position, camouflaged apparel but he was not in a suit.

_He's cured from the radiation._

Clarke's eyes darken with rage. _His life for another._ She shoots the sniper as soon as she got a clear shot. Lincoln goes in for the clear to disable the sniper. The sniper sees him and dodges his attack. Lincoln sooner starts to get the upper hand and was about to stab the sniper when he pulls out a device that makes a high pitched sound which disables Lincoln. He uses Lincoln as a shield.

"You won't want to shoot you friend here now wo-" The sniper gets cut off from his threat when Clarke takes a clear shot on Lincoln's shoulder, making the bullet hit the sniper's heart, instantly killing him.

"Good shot." Lincoln puts pressure on his shoulder wound as Clarke ties up a makeshift bandage. "Sorry about that that though." Clarke slips off his Reaper clothing to examine the wound and reapply the bandage.

Lexa looks over Clarke and notices a tear stream down the Blonde's face.

"Did that make you feel better?" The Commander asks the question out of the curiosity as to why her Sky counterpart wold cry over the death of an enemy.

"No." Clarke looks at her with a dead look on her eyes, eyes filled with guilt and worry with the blood tainted on her hands. She was not raised for this like Lexa was. This was all new to her. This war was something she had wanted to avoid, Lexa could tell that much as to what Anya had told her about the Blonde before.

_I would do anything to make you feel better._ Lexa makes a silent promise to her Sky counterpart.

* * *

When their group reaches the ruins of Tondc, one of the Commander's generals approach her to report the progress of the rescue in her absence.

"Nice job taking down that sniper." Raven approaches them as Octavia rushes to embrace Lincoln.

"Clarke." Abby approaches Clarke with a look of worry on her eyes. "I understand the decision you made. I forgot how I knew how to be in a position like that." Abby looks down while saying this. The both knew what her silence meant and how this situation was similar to. _Jake Griffin._

"_Heda! Heda! Heda!" _Lexa faces her people and readies her announcement as her people cheer her arrival. She glances at Clarke as she begins to speak.

"_Oso gonplei ste not odon! _Our fight is not over! The dead will be avenged!" _You will be avenged._

* * *

_So far so good. _Four words Bellamy used as a mantra as their plan continues to progress.

"How are we going to evade the guards from this level?" Jasper just couldn't wait until they reach their checkpoint.

"Where's Maya? Can we still trust her?" Miller was growing restless just like all of them. Bellamy had to keep his clear and only think of those four words and avoid thinking about of his Blonde co-leader had taken down the sniper safely.

"They'll help us for now." Bellamy gestures over to the Resistance members lead by Maya and her father.

"They don't approve of Cage's control and rise to power. Not by a long shot" Maya ushers the remaining 46 as they divide them into smaller teams for hiding. Jasper approaches her for a hug as Bellamy looks on them.

"I'll go back to the vents and radio Raven that we finally have you guys." Bellamy starts to turn to leave but Jasper stops him.

"I'm coming with you."

"No you're not. They still don't know I'm here and I intend to keep it that way. You guys just stay alive and be ready to fight. War is coming." Bellamy nods to Jasper and Monty as he leaves.

_So far so good._ Four words form into his head over and over, trying to push aside the thought of Clarke and how he would rather bring down that sniper with her.

* * *

**Hello to all! I am the other writer now putting up this note as my co-author is resting now because work is slowly draining her strength. Work does not and will not stop us from writing this fic and with the help of the episode we watched earlier, this chapter is a gift for all of you! Thank you for all the reviews, follows and favorites! Please keep 'em coming - FireAndMischief**


	5. Chapter 5

After killing the sniper, it was decided that all survivors of the Tondc explosion were to be transported back to Camp Jaha. Abby had sent someone to announce to all current residents of the Ark to be prepared to take in at least a couple of grounders in order to accommodate everyone. Clarke had protested, saying it was time to proceed and attack Mount Weather, but Lexa had put a hand on her shoulder, softly reminding the blonde of Bellamy's uncompleted mission. Clarke frowns, and then rushes to take off into the woods. Lexa sighs and turns to follow her, with her guards hasting to follow her. She raises a hand to stop them.

"Make sure no one follows us into the woods. Search for us if we do not return in two hours." Her guards bow their heads at her order. Lexa looks at Abby, nodding at her before rushing after Clarke into the woods.

* * *

Both leaders were silent, still waiting for the other to acknowledge what had happened.

Lexa had seen the regret and the misery in her counterpart's eyes. What little care she allowed herself to show was not enough to address how concerned she was for the anger that Clarke had inside her body.

"How are you feeling?" Lexa asks the blonde, walking faster in order to walk perfectly in sync with her.

"Why do you care? Didn't you say feeling too much was weakness?"

The commander's heart broke as she watched the blonde struggle keep her mask of indifference on.

"You just killed someone out of so much anger, Clarke. I doubt that was you NOT feeling."

Clarke rolled her eyes at Lexa, but remained silent. The two still walked perfectly in sync, but while Clarke chose to look stoically ahead, Lexa kept on glancing at the Sky Girl.

Clarke stops and Lexa does the same.

"Why aren't you angry, Lexa?" The blonde finally asks after a few more moments of silence. Lexa's heart breaks at the anguish in Clarke's voice. "They just killed so much of our people, and you want to stay? How can you not want to just kill everyone in that mountain right now?!"

"Did I tell you that I wanted to stay, Clarke?" Lexa asks the blonde. Not once did she say that she wanted to stay, but simply reminded the other girl that Bellamy had yet to complete his mission. "If anyone else wants justice for the dead more than you do, it is me."

"Then why are we even arguing about this right now?" Clarke says helplessly. The blonde was close to tears and Lexa wanted nothing more than to just hold her close and whisper comforting words in her ear.

"You trust Bellamy, don't you? Didn't you say that if he does not succeed, none of us will live to see the end of the Mountain Men? It is not I who said that we had to wait. You were the one who said that Bellamy was the key to out victory, remember?"

The commander could not believe that she was the one being rational right now. Between her and the sky girl, it was not Lexa who reasoned out to Clarke. It was usually Clarke reasoning out, voicing out her feelings on the matter, and it was usually Lexa who would emotionlessly agree or disagree with whatever Clarke had to say.

"Those who have died deserve to be avenged, Clarke. But attacking with the sole purpose of revenge does not help anyone, not even yourself." Lexa says sadly.

She knew. She knew how it felt. To want to just charge and kill out of anger, to want to just kill because she had suddenly found herself helpless. And she knew that after all of that, who you have lost will still remain gone. You'd have blood in your hands, but it wouldn't make you feel better.

"Your people are moving inside the Mountain, Clarke. Attacking right now would just mean getting ourselves killed."

Clarke, dejected, sat on a tree root, and Lexa did the same, facing the blonde slightly.

"You and I were not so different, Clarke." Lexa starts. "I wore my heart on my sleeve too. And when I lost Costia, all I wanted to do was fight, I wanted to kill whoever it was who killed her. My need for revenge was what kept me going, and not once did I stop to evaluate the consequences of my actions." Lexa knew no kind of reasoning out did it for her, but she had to take her chances. She couldn't just let the blonde go through the same downward spiral she did. Not if she can help it.

"When I lost forty-nine of my people after an attack poorly planned, I realized that my people were far more important. Costia's death deserved justice, but at what cost? Had I not stopped and woken up from the anger, 49 could have been 80. Maybe even hundreds would be gone. But not even a thousand deaths would bring her back."

"Why are you telling me this, Lexa? _I_ killed the last person I loved, remember? You were right there when I did it."

"This isn't about Finn, Clarke." _But if he wasn't dead then Clarke wouldn't have had reason to believe that love was weakness, if he wasn't dead Clarke wouldn't be so lost right now. If Finn wasn't dead, Clarke wouldn't listen to Lexa and would instead let herself feel. _

That thought remained unsaid, but both knew the other was thinking the same thing. Once again, Lexa's heart broke. Clarke was truly lost, and the Commander felt responsible for starting it all. She did not regret wanting that boy dead, she did not regret wanting to see him suffer after killing eighteen of her people, and she definitely did not regret not doing anything to pardon the murderer, but she _was_ responsible for it all.

The part of her that cared so deeply for the blonde wanted to break down and apologize for causing Clarke so much pain she couldn't release, but she couldn't. Not when they were about to go to war, not when she just _might_ lose someone so dear to her again.

* * *

"Something good did come out of that explosion, you know?" Lexa says, smiling grimly at the blonde sky girl. Clarke raises her eyebrow at the Commander's attempt at distracting her from wanting to go after the Mountain Men right at this instant, but humors her anyway.

"What?"

"There were at least ten people from the Ice Nation in there..." Lexa says, trailing off at the end.

"Which means?" Clarke prompts, not clearly understanding where Lexa was going with this.

"Costia has finally received the justice she deserves." Clarke chuckles and realizes that while Lexa was indeed trying to distract her, there was truth in what she was saying. She regrets not noticing it earlier, but maybe that thought has been in Lexa's mind since earlier, hence the lightness that ironically shined from her eyes, despite her stony facade.

The two become silent again.

"Am I horrible for thinking of that in a time of loss for my people?" Lexa asks in a whisper. Clarke shakes her head.

"We all deserve to have a little bit of hope and happiness in the time of war." Lexa smiles a little as Clarke lets a part of her persona seep through the stoic mask.

Lexa wanted to say that she has more than enough happiness with the other girl around, but decides against it. Now was not the time. She also fights the urge to ask what makes Clarke a little happy and hopeful nowadays, but like her first thought, she keeps it from coming out if her mouth. She has cared too much for today.

* * *

Not long after their conversation, Clarke rests her back on the tree trunk and falls asleep within minutes. The woods were not safe, especially not at night, but Clarke has never been this peaceful in days.

Lexa cherished the moment, as she watched the blonde sleep peacefully. She looks back at the first time she met the blonde, thinking how right Anya was, everytime she mentioned the Sky Girl's passion. She laughs internally at how she cursed Anya in her head that night for not telling her how much this Sky Girl would remind her of her lost love.

Maybe Anya knew how easy it was going to be for her to fall for Clarke, maybe that was why it took forever for her to meet this infamous sky girl who wanted to make peace with the people who tried to attack one of their own, moments after they landed on the ground.

Whatever the past held, it was all water under the bridge now as she was right here, right now, watching the person who has stolen her heart sleep peacefully.

If only she knew how to keep her safe and happy without having to risk losing her.

* * *

"_Heda_?"

Lexa's head snaps up when she hears the voice of her chief general. Has it been a couple of hours already?

"Indra, I assumed you would be resting. You've been hurt today, you could have sent a few guards instead of coming here." Lexa says. If there was one person other than Clarke who would see her heart, it would be the General who knew her like the back if her own hand. Gustus was also someone lucky enough to have the same privileges, but that was before he betrayed her.

Indra shrugs and holds out a hand to her Commander to help her up. Lexa accepts Indra's hand, and moves as the older woman pulls her up from where she was seated.

"Octavia!" The general calls to her second, who immediately comes forward at the sound of her name. Indra looks at her, while giving her instructions.

"Get the sky girl to back to Camp Jaha. Bring the guards. The Commander and I will come shortly. Prepare her quarters for the Commander's arrival."

Lexa watches as Octavia orders one of the guards to pick Clarke up. The entourage goes quickly as they came, leaving the Commander and her Chief General alone in the woods for the second night in a row.

_"Heda, Yu Hod Clarke kom skaikru in."_ Lexa raises her eyebrow at Indra's direct accusation_._

_"__No. Daun ste pleni, Indra._ I told you we were not going to talk about this anymore." Lexa answers.

"I apologize for my tactlessness, _Heda_. I just keep on seeing you doing things you don't normally do for the sky girl and I-"

Lexa sighs, interrupting the older woman.

"Clarke is my equal, therefore, she deserves to be treated as such. I know you're looking out for me, but my feelings for Clarke, or anyone for that matter, is none of your business." Indra's eyes widen at Lexa's indirect admittance, but chooses not to say anything.

"If it must help, maybe you should give the sky girl what she wants, _Heda_" Indra advises her Commander. "Seeing her so lost must be so hard for you, but getting back up on your own was what made you stronger after..."

Lexa urges Indra to continue despite her hesitation.

"...after Costia died. The sky girl ha-"

"Clarke."

"_Clarke_ has lost so much more and she needs to grieve. Maybe you should give her that." Lexa nods at her general.

"_Mochof, Indra_. You should get in touch with your softer side more often."

Lexa says the last part in a serious tone, which is why it takes Indra a couple more minutes before realizing what her Commander just said.

Suddenly, Indra's signature scowl was back in its place. Lexa laughs internally, before walking towards Camp Jaha. Halfway through their walk, she looks at Indra and sees how deep the general's scowl is.

_I am glad I am not Octavia or any of her seconds right now._

* * *

"Raven are you there? Raven!"

Bellamy was trying to reach Raven over and over but her lack of response was making him agitated. _Are they okay? What the fuck was happening?_

"What the fuck Bellamy!" Raven finally responds with grogginess in her voice.

"What took you so long to answer?" Bellamy might have forgotten to actually check his watch because the girl on the other end sounded sleepy. _I can't afford any sleep right now._

"Do you fucking know what time it is? I have been exhausted in producing more weapons against Mt. Weather and the Reapers. Can't I at least get some sleep?" Bellamy could only imagine how mad she actually was about his rude awakening but he didn't care. He was _worried._ Not just worried about Octavia but even more worried about a certain blonde co-leader.

"I just wanted to make sure you guys didn't forget about me and the others as I have been worried that you might."

"No its okay. Sorry. I just needed some rest that's all." Raven yawns on the other end and Bellamy wanted to feel the tiredness too but he just _couldn't_. He wasn't with them and it's killing him. Not knowing how they were doing, not being able to check up on Clarke or getting mad at her for being up and about given the fact that she was still recovering from a concussion, it _kills_ him. It kills him knowing that his own sister was there at the missile attack and all he could think about was not being there for _Clarke._

"What's the update on what I'm supposed to do?" Bellamy pushes aside his thoughts and proceeds to the task at hand now that he has Raven's attention.

"They're all furious here Bell, and I mean _furious__._ There were people stuck on fallen structures on the crater the missile created. They had to get dead people out and survivors were on top of dead people or vice versa. Clarke and the Commander are thinking of attacking sooner." Raven replies with a sense of justice in her voice. Bellamy can only imagine what it was like seeing people, living or dead, be rescued out over and over even if you didn't know them, they were still _people._

"Just tell me what I need to do, the sooner we can get all of our people out." Bellamy wants the action. He wants to be more useful. Not being there when the missile was shot or even in the rescue mission made him feel useless even if his job now was more important. Not being by their side was what made him feel useless. Not being there by _Clarke's_ side made him feel _pathetic._

_"_Find out the timeline of the duties on the control room. As much as possible we'll disable the control systems and maybe try to take Monty with you." Raven continued to instruct on what he had to do for the meantime. Bellamy focuses on what he has to do and keeps mental note of everything. The leaders of the Grounders, along with Clarke, are planning to attack sooner than they anticipated. Rest was obviously not an option for him now.

With everything being said and instructed by Raven, Bellamy makes his way to the tunnels with his blonde co-leader in his mind. _She'll be fine. I'll see you soon, Princess._

* * *

When they arrive at Camp Jaha, it takes a direct order from Lexa to make sure Indra leaves Octavia alone.

The sky girl turned grounder looks gratefully at Lexa as she lead the Commander to where she was going to spend the night.

After bidding Octavia good night, and making sure the girl told her if her superior gave her hell for the rest of the night, Lexa retreats to a bed across the one her counterpart was currently occupying.

Lexa looks at Clarke before deciding that after all that's been said and done, Indra was right. Clarke needed to figure things out on her own. Tomorrow morning, she was going to ask Clarke if she still wanted to leave for the Mountain. If the blonde says yes, she will say nothing and will order the necessary people to get ready instead.

And so while a part of her thinks attacking with Bellamy's mission unfinished will kill them, she decides she will agree to whatever Clarke decides.

_Anything for Clarke._

_Even if it kills her._

* * *

**Hey! Thank you for all the follows, favorites and reviews! If you want more Clexa or maybe even Bellarke stuff, I'm open to writing prompted fics! Doing that on tumblr, so if you're interested, go visit onlythelettermmatters and drop a prompt on my askbox! :)**

**p.s. Clexa kiss! Cry with me.**

**-M**


	6. Chapter 6

It was different, the way Lexa woke up today. Before any real thought even crossed her mind, she followed her instinct when it told her to check if her blonde counterpart was awake. Clarke was still on her bed, her eyes closed, and her breathing even, unaware that Lexa knew she was awake. In that moment, Lexa knew how fast the thoughts were running in Clarke's head, she could almost hear the blonde thinking.

"Clarke?" Clarke jumps when she hears her temporary roommate softly call out to her from across her small sleeping area. She has been awake for a while now, just listening to Lexa's soft breathing. Clarke didn't understand why, but the Commander made her feel very comfortable.

_Almost like Bellamy._

_"_Yeah?" The blonde whispers in reply.

"Are you still set on moving forward today?" Lexa asks softly, not wanting to destroy the peace in their midst. Clarke nods lightly, a nod that Lexa almost didn't recognize.

"We leave in four hours." The commander says, before standing up to get ready for the day. She doesn't ask Clarke to come and oversee the preparations with her, but Clarke follows her anyway.

Lexa sighs, worrying about keeping all their people AND Clarke safe. She didn't want any of this, she didn't want anything to do with this, and yet she's here, worrying about keeping someone who should be more than capable of taking care of herself.

* * *

"We can blow the doors manually." Clarke was starting to voice out her plans once again. The Commander sighs as she sits up from her makeshift bed, wanting to rest for a while until Bellamy gives the signal.

"Plans don't last very long in battle. Tiring yourself with questions already asked and answered is a waste of energy." Lexa patiently scolds Clarke. They had only just arrived from the safe zone near Mt. Weather to avoid the acid fog, in case the Mountain Men would deploy it before Bellamy could disable it.

"People died for this, Lexa. It has to work." Clarke had a sullen look in her eyes. Her heart filled with dread. She felt like she had swallowed boulder sized rocks. The feeling of guilt continues to consume her.

"You're doing what I did when I first took command. Once Bellamy shuts down the acid fog and the battle begins, everything will be clear." The Commander pours herself a drink. Liquid courage to maximize her patience over her counterpart's continuous agitation.

"What if he can't?" Clarke turns to her, her eyes slowly forming tears she tries to stop. "What if it was too dangerous and I sent him there anyway? He might already be-" Clarke stops her sentence and closes her eyes, stopping the tears forming from falling down her face.

Lexa looks at her, jealousy creeping over her at an instant over her counterpart's obvious worry for her co-leader.

"You care about him. You may care about all of them but you worry about him more." She holds her head up high, daring Clarke to lie in front of her. Clarke turns away.

_She does care for him, especially._

Lexa takes a gulp from her drink, pushing aside her jealousy as she feels the strength of the liquid.

"I couldn't have kept us all alive without him." Clarke looks back at her with dread fully showing in her eyes. "We need him and yet here I am, the person who might actually get him killed."

_She needs him._

Lexa looks over at Clarke, knowing that the blonde would not admit her feelings for her co-leader. Either that or she might not even be aware of it yet. _She would never be aware of it. I will make sure of it._

"Clarke, you could be a leader. Someone your people will fight and die for without a second thought. You were born for this. Same as me." Lexa turns away and sits back on her makeshift bed, drinking down the contents of her cup.

* * *

"I've been summoned? Really?" Wick raises an eyebrow as he enters Raven's abode.

Raven barely glances as the grown man enters, preparing chemicals and setting them to her work space.

"Yeah. Thanks. I need you to help me on figuring out how to disable the acid fog without triggering and alarm system, Bellamy will radio again soon when he gets to dispersal system." Wick picks up some the chemicals she had set down and put them back on the shelves, as he does this he grazes her hand accidentally and they catch each other's eyes.

_Fuck. Not now._

Raven scold herself inwardly and immediately looks away. "What?" She looks back him impatiently.

"Its just that this moment is one for the history books, seriously. You. Raven Reyes. Asking for help?" Wick grins mischievously at her, making her heart skip a beat.

_What the fuck. _This is so not the time right now._ . _She looks away again and grabs more chemicals, determined to hide her growing agitation whenever the older man is around her.

"Never mind. Thanks anyways the. I'll do it on my own." _Don't look at him._

"Joke, okay? Humor. It's what I do."

"There's an army out there waiting to rescue my friends and I just- I can't figure this out-" Raven's voice starts to rise, her resolve slowly breaking until Wick cuts her off.

"Relax. Okay? That's what I'm here for. To help you." He touches Raven's arm to calm her. It did more than that but she didn't succumb to her feelings at the moment. _Not the time for this._

Wick turns around and Raven exhales heavily the air she's been holding back from the moment he came through the door.

"So acid that melts people? So what could it be nucleation? I'll have you know I was a god in fluid dynamics." His smirk making Raven roll her eyes.

"You think you're a god at everything."

_There must be something wrong in my head right now because I actually found his statement and smirk, cute. _Raven continues to tell herself off inwardly as Wick helps her. _So not the time._

* * *

_That was too close._

Bellamy thinks back to how he was close to getting caught once the key-card he took from the deceased guard wasn't working. He pushed aside his panic instantly, focusing at the task at hand and escaping as soon as possible without being seen again.

He finally enters the room containing the acid tanks that create the acid fog around Mt. Weather. After temporarily disabling the only entrance, he radios Raven.

"Raven, I made it. I hope you have a plan." Bellamy looks around the room, finally feeling useful. _I'm finally here._

"Okay, Bell. We're still working on how to disable without triggering any alarms. Give us something to go on. What do you see?"

Bellamy describes the interior of the room and notices the monitor. "There's a monitor."

"Use the monitor." Wick's voice comes of the radio making Bellamy raise his eyebrow.

"Hello to you too." Bellamy examines the monitor, clearly not familiar with the words on it. _And I'm back to feeling useless._

"Don't mind him he's not really helping." Bellamy could hear Raven's smirk and could only imagine her eyes rolling. _She's never gonna admit she's starting to like this guy._

"Bellamy if that monitor is the control panel connected to the tanks, we could kill this thing without triggering the alarms. Is Monty with you?" Wick sounded determined, clearly ignoring Raven's sarcasm.

"No, I couldn't risk it since they know their faces. Can't we just blow this?" _I have no idea what these fucking numbers and letters are for. _Bellamy excelled more in Earth Studies, basics in Tracking, Combat and Guns but he never really thought that Chemistry or Liquidations was something he needed to learn, so he just let himself wing it during lessons in the Ark. _I never thought I'd regret cutting classes._

"No. You can't, they might send someone to fix it. A tech-" Raven and Wick clearly chose the time to play pass-the-radio, cutting each other's sentences off.

"And you'd blow you face off. We have to think this all through."

"Okay then let's do this." Bellamy cuts them both off and visualizes his co-leader in his head, wanting to argue and talk to her about this apart from Raven and Wick.

_Almost there, Princess._

* * *

Clarke exits the Commander's quarters, wanting some air. Clarke was quite proud of herself for standing up to Lexa. She and the Commander often disagreed, but they have never argued the way they did just before she exited the tent.

What she and Lexa had, it wasn't normal. It was a partnership similar to hers and Bellamy's, but for some reason, she knew it wasn't the same. First of all, it was the fruit of an unlikely alliance, an alliance that held the fate of those in Mt. Weather. Lexa inspired her to go through lengths for her people. Lexa knew her strengths as much as her weaknesses, and Lexa used everything in Clarke to make her better. It was exhausting, but it made her feel like a leader

Bellamy on the other hand, was there with her the moment they landed on the ground. Granted, they didn't see eye to eye at first but they, for some reason, worked. She needed Bellamy to be everything she wasn't and he always delivered. What she and him had, although very rocky, worked well enough to make sure most of their people lived.

Her thoughts of her two co-leaders are interrupted when she sees Octavia. She smiles at Bellamy's sister but frowns when she does not recieve the same gesture in return. Clarke felt her palms grow sweaty as she took in every accusation Octavia sent her way. She tried to reason out, but it only made Octavia angrier. She begged the warrior not to tell anyone about the missile, but Lexa stops her before she makes sure Octavia kept silent.

Clarke walks away, leaving Lexa to handle what she just left outside the tent.

* * *

Lexa feels her heart pound faster when Clarke walks into their shared tent angrily, with Ryder in front of her. She jumps a little when Clarke kicks the guard angrily, but struggles to remain calm. She drops the war paint container before ordering Ryder to leave her and the blonde alone, with orders of standing down for the mean time.

Clarke angrily walks towards her, clearly upset about the Commander ordering her friend dead.

"You can't just kill anyone you couldn't trust!" Clarke screams at her. Lexa fights the sudden need to apologize to the blonde at once.

"I can." She says instead. "You didn't care if she died two days ago. Nothing has changed."

"I have!" Clarke screams at her counterpart, frustrated at the idea of Lexa trying to have Octavia killed.

Lexa, although very much aware that she does not have to listen to Clarke if she doesn't want to, still makes it a point to make the blonde aware that she was being heard. She half heartedly tries to counter Clarke's every point, only resulting in the blonde backing her towards the makeshift table. Lexa's eyes grow wide in fear and admiration as Clarke stands up to her for the second time today. For a few seconds, She forgot how angry Clarke was, as she drowned in the blonde's passion-filled eyes.

Just as quickly as she was drawn into Clarke's eyes, she realizes that she shouldn't be feeling like this.

_Stop looking at her like you'd give her the world! _

She does not stop herself from replying to whatever Clarke had to say, but her concentration wavers as she loses herself in Clarke's eyes once again.

Lexa watches Clarke's whole body shudder with an intake of an angry breath.

"You just left 250 people to die! You let everyone burn!" Lexa had to give it to Clarke. The blonde knew her surprsingly well, even calling her out on lying about not feeling. It was not what she had expected, but it was happening and in that moment, it was like her lips had a mind of their own.

"Not everyone. Not you."

Lexa holds her breath when she realizes the words that just came out of her mouth. Her thoughts were running a mile a minute. She was hoping that Clarke had not picked up on her feelings and that she merely understood it as a declaration of friendship.

"If you care about me, you'd trust me when I say Octavia isn't going to be a problem."

Lexa, still holding her breath, shakes her head and quietly mumbling how what Clarke was asking was impossible. The Commander looks down as she hears Clarke's footsteps fade out into the world outside their tent.

_One._

_Two._

_Three_.

Once Lexa was sure she was not going to fall apart, she releases the breath she has been holding. It wasn't steady as she had planned on releasing, but it was way put together than how she felt.

_Did she just tell Clarke she had feelings for her?_

* * *

_Clarke had walked out of this tent twice today._ Lexa thought as she paced back and forth, trying to figure out what she was going to do to fix whatever it is that is happening between Clarke and her at that moment.

_Suck it up and aplogize_.

That is not as easy as it seemed. Lexa knew that she had she really screwed up. Implying to someone you didn't trust them was bad, but deliberately telling someone you don't was worse, especially when in reality you trusted them with everything in you.

Finally, Lexa takes a deep breath and peeks out the tent to order someone to get Clarke for her.

The blonde does not take long. Her tone was calm and expectant, a tone that was clearly opposite the one she had earlier today.

"You sent for me?" Lexa hears her counterpart as she made herself busy. After confirming that she indeed sent for the blonde, the Commander attempts to word her apology in words that she knew would mean more than just a simple I'm sorry.

"Octavia has nothing to fear from me. I do trust you, Clarke."

Clarke knew that this was the closest thing to an apology from Lexa, and she knew how important it is for her counterpart to admit what she just did. Her heart swelled a little at the thought of Lexa going out of her way to make amends with her.

"I know how hard it is for you-"

Lexa watches Clarke behind her eyelashes as she cuts her off. A thousand thoughts were once again running through Lexa's head. The idea of Clarke thinking about her is more than overwhelming at this point. Clarke knew how she felt, and yet she was here, talking to her like nothing has changed.

_But everything has changed. It changed the moment that dropship landed from the sky._

Lexa hesitates.

"You think our ways are hard, but that's how we survive."

"Maybe life should be about more than just surviving. Don't we deserve better than that?"

"Maybe we do."

_Do I?_

Without thinking of anything else, Lexa reaches for Clarke's face and leans in, tentatively brushing her lips against the Sky Girl's. The response is not immediate, but when Clarke does kiss her back, Lexa uses it as a sign to keep on going.

Lexa's heart was pounding fast against her chest. Her hands were gripping Clarke's shoulder as the Blonde leaned in closer to her, but just as quickly as their kiss had started, Clarke pulls away with a guilty look on her face.

"I'm sorry."

The commander felt her heart break at the words that came out of the lips that previously touched hers.

"I'm not ready to be with anyone. Not now."

As much as it pained her, Lexa nods at Clarke's words in understanding. Not now was definitely better than a no. She understood that Clarke still needed to grieve, and that she truly was not over her lost love.

Clarke's eyes showed sincerity when she said that she wasn't completely saying no to her grounder counterpart.

With the words _'not now_' Lexa had a little bit of hope.

And during the time of war? Hope was a good thing.

Now all she has to do is get out of this alive.

* * *

As the signal from Camp Jaha painted the sky, both Clarke and Lexa look at each other with a tentative grin. They had a chance to win this war!

With the other by their side, the two leaders stood stronger. They were a team, They trusted each other and both knew that they had more things to look forward to when they win the war.

The Commander glances over at Clarke's determined face. _Soon._

They exit the tent together, Lexa walks faster, wanting all of this to be over and done. Rescue her people and Clarke's and _then_ they can finally see how it will all go.

As her people cheer over her, she orders the sound of the horn to prepare her people for battle.

The war is about to begin.

* * *

With Wick and Raven's help, Bellamy was able to disable the acid fog temporarily with the tanks' maintenance clean up. It would buy the army enough time to invade Mt. Weather.

_I finally did it, Princess._

As a smile slowly forms on his face, he notices something odd on the PH levels of the tank that contains the maintenance clean-up chemicals. The needle hasn't moved like the way it did on the monitor.

_Fuck._

The smile on his face instantly turns upside down. He pushed aside the panic he was beginning to feel because he didn't know what to do. He wasn't good at back-up plans when it came to chemical stuff. _I wish I really did bring Monty anyway._

He inwardly scold himself as he tries to reach Raven on the radio. "Raven, something's wrong. The monitor didn't align with the maintenance tank. Raven?"

_Nothing._

Realization dawns on Bellamy instantly. _They cut off the radio._ He wasn't sure how long the Mountain Men were listening in on them but now was not the time to look back and think. He had to do something soon before they activate the acid fog because he had already given the signal to Clarke and the Commander.

_Why didn't I bring Monty again?_

Continuing to scold himself, he hides behind a nearby tank as guards break open the door. He looks over at the label and acts on what he was thinking of instantly, as crazy as it was going to end up to be. He leaves the torch Vincent gave him, aiming for the tank to open and come in contact with the flame.

As Bellamy enters the vent from where he came from to continue to distract the guards, he thought of how his plan was going to work, crazy and dangerous as it was.

_Sorry, Clarke, I have no other choice right now._

As he runs out of ammo, he crawls in the vent as fast as he can, and slides inside until he finds cover from the explosion he made. He thought of his co-leader on the other side of the mountain, marching with an army of grounders and soldiers from the Ark. He's done his job and now it was time to do hers.

_Your call now, Princess, good luck and see you soon._

* * *

**I have been screaming a stream of curse words when that Clexa kiss happened! Anyone there feel me? Still my theory of the endgame, show wise, stands but Clexa is happening yo :) Thank you for the reviews, favorites and follows. Please keep 'em coming! -FireAndMischief (I haven't published in a long time so don't mind my fanfics haha)**

**_YO YO YO PEOPLE! I cannot resist writing a note, so I'm writing this as I wait out the last 20 minutes of my 18-hour shift. I still cry when I think of the kiss, but it is what it is. I'm hoping Lexa remains alive and well, and when she does, I will be crying again. Lol tumblr for clexa stuff? Follow me at onlythlettermmatters. Also, YOUR REVIEWS ARE AMAZING. Keep em coming guys! Also, let's make OHMYLEXA happen! -M_**


	7. Chapter 7

Screams of the guards and soldiers of Mt. Weather that were sent to apprehend him, were the only sounds that Bellamy could hear loud and clear over the explosion that he made possible with an oxygen tank and a small torch.

_Raven's not the only one who can exit with a bang._

He smiled inwardly at his own inside joke, hoping to be able to tell his friends how he actually disabled the acid fog. He imagined Clarke's half smile, trying to will herself not to laugh at such a joke, not wanting to give him the satisfaction that he was funny even if he saw her reaction anyways.

He grinned at the thought of his co-leader, letting himself rely on her image in his head as strength. _No one can really read my mind here anyways._

As soon as the explosion subsided, he let himself take a quick breath and compose himself to prepare the army they can form from inside Mt. Weather. He made his way to Maya's quarters to inform them of his success and then he'll go back to the cages to free the Grounder Army.

_Just a little more, we can actually be free._

* * *

_Fuck it._

Raven sits up from her bed and approaches leaves for her office/lab. _War can make a lot of things happen. Best not to have regrets now._

As she nears the door, she pushes aside any second thoughts about succumbing to her growing attraction over Wick. _It's just how it is I have to fucking stop denying it._

_Does he feel the same way?_

She scolds herself inwardly as she enters the room, suddenly having second thoughts. She pushed aside her doubts once again as she strides over to Wick, cutting him off from whatever he was saying, and kissing him full on the lips.

He was surprised at first but returned her kiss passionately. He coaxed her to open her mouth as his tongue drunk her in the moment. She sighed as he let go of the kiss for a moment and looked her in the eyes.

"What made you change your mind?" Wick's eyes were dark with lust, but surely her eyes were the same as his.

"We're going to war. So just stop talking."She puts her arms around his neck, making him kiss her deeper so. A kiss that was hinted to happen, the moment they celebrated Bellamy's success in disabling the acid fog.

Wick and Raven continue to succumb to their lust, letting themselves feel the sexual tension they've been saving up for quite sometime. He puts her legs around his waist and lets her down on their work table, clearing up the objects as fast as he could.

He starts to take of her clothing, starting from her shirt to her bra. Of course, Raven wouldn't give up that easily, so she starts to take off his shirt, matching his pace. As Wick starts to slip off her pants, he touches the restraints of her leg support. Raven turns away slightly and sighs.

_Shit._

"I'm just saying. Mine would have been easier to take off." Wick grins at her, the lust in his eyes still there, clearly not wanting to let go of the moment that they're both having. Raven returns his grin with a smirk.

"Didn't I tell you to stop talking, Wick?"

"It's Kyle by the way. You can call me Kyle."

Raven felt her heart warm up from his sweet gesture of letting her be aware of his first name. _I didn't even know about it._ The warm feeling in her heart continued to fire up as they made love, that small moment made it much more than just sex.

Although Raven wouldn't admit to that. Just not now.

* * *

The Commander instructs her men to call on all the generals to discuss the division of the teams on infiltrating Mt. Weather. She looks over to her Sky Counterpart as they wait for the generals to arrive.

_Soon._

She had finally expressed her feeling towards Clarke. Even if the Blonde's reply was vague, it still held _hope. Hope_ that her feelings are not exactly unrequited. She will have her answer soon. The war is about to begin but Lexa cannot wait for it to already be over.

_We both deserve this._

Lexa finds herself looking around, only to meet Clarke's eyes from across the tent. Her heat flutters at Clarke's small smile before sending the blonde a smaller smile in return.

"_Heda_?" The commander reluctantly breaks eye contact with the sky girl when she hears one of her men call out to her. Lexa turns around and looks at him expectantly.

"We're ready if you are." Lexa nods at him before turning back to Clarke, motioning for the blonde to join her.

Lexa's people pile into the room and take the positions, followed by the Sky People.

"Welcome, Skaikru. Join us." The commander says just after Clarke takes her place behind her. Once everyone has settled down, Lexa lets Clarke take the lead, only interjecting when needed.

Lexa watches as Clarke passionately relates to the Skaikru the battleplan. The commander watches as she recalls how nervous Clarke had been only a few hours before. She knew the nerves were still there, but she couldn't help but let her heart swell up in pride as she watched Clarke fire her people up.

Her thoughts are interrupted when she feels Clarke's eyes on her. She takes a deep breath before walking towards the center of the room.

"The mountain has cast a shadow over these woods for too long. They've hunted us, controlled us, turned us into monsters. That ends today. Thanks to our alliance with the Sky People, the mountain will fall."

She pauses to let the words sink in. The room's silence is uniterrupted as every single soul focuses on the Commander's every word.

"As Clarke said, we spare the innocent. As for the gulty,_ jus drein jus daun_."

Before Lexa knows it, the entire room starts chanting those four words over and over. The sound of every person in that room chanting those words sent a chill down her spine.

_Please, let this war be over soon._

* * *

Lexa, Clarke and a good number of their warriors stand before the door separating them from the mountain men. The sun was still high up in the sky, and the one Clarke called Monroe just finished drilling a hole into the door.

Lexa watches Clarke from her periphery, and she sees the blonde shift uncomfortably as they wait for Raven's team to complete their mission. Lexa catches the eye of her blonde counterpart, and raises her eyebrows in question. Clarke shrugs, but sends her a smile that was very small, unnoticable even, before turning to converse with one of the Sky warriors.

The two barely talked from the moment they and the rest of the army positioned themselves outside the door of the mountain, but Lexa's mind was repeatedly assaulted by the memory of that kiss they shared not even more than a day ago. Every time she caught sight of the blonde lead her thoughts to stray towards that kiss. Lexa frowns.

_Now is not the time for this. The people trapped inside that mountain come first._

* * *

When the sun finally sets, Clarke's nerves also come back. The blonde seeks Lexa out and stands a couple of feet from her before whispering.

"It's taking too long." Clarke says, still shifting around uncomfortably.

"It takes as long as it takes." Lexa says, trying to comfort the other girl. When Clarke does not reply, she continues, trying to get Clarke's mind off the fact that the power is still on. "What will you do when it's over?"

"I have no idea."

The commander's head swims with different thoughts as she hears Clarke's answer. Lexa slaps herself internally as she finds herself hanging on to every word coming out of Clarke's mouth. The question was supposed to be a way to get the blonde's mind off their current situation and not bring light to whatever it is that was going on between them.

"Well, what do you want?"

"Nothing. My people back. I can't think past today."

Her heart breaks a little at the complete disregard of the hidden implications of her question, but she reminds herself that she was being selfish.

_The people trapped inside that mountain come first._

She reminds herself as she watches Clarke stare at the door, before turning her head towards it as well.

"You should come with me to the Capitol."

She feels Clarke's eyes bore into the side of her head. She meets Clarke's eyes nervously, berating herself quietly as she breathes out the next few words carefully.

"Polis will change the way you think of us."

_Where the hell did that come from? Did I jus-_

"You already have."

Lexa smiles contentedly at that reply. Once again, it was a vague statement about their future, and she couldn't help but think that it was becoming their thing.

* * *

As soon the power goes out, the guns start shooting as well. Everybody takes cover, and once again, Lexa finds herself huddled right beside Clarke. The blonde holds out the buttom that would activate the explosion out to Lexa before saying,

"To those we have lost,"

"And those we'll soon find." The commander finishes Clarke's words as she puts her hand over Clarke's on the button.

They push once, twice, nothing happens. They had less than a minute now.

Clarke runs towards the door after claiming that they were being jammed. It takes a whole lot of effort on Lexa's part to not jump up and run after the blonde, but sighs in relief when Lincoln does the same thing she was thinking of doing.

When one of the Sky People steps up to try to get to the door, she orders a shield wall for him, but he and the wall fall even before even reaching the door.

They were losing hope as quickly as their window was closing. At that moment, everything felt surreal. All Lexa knew was that they had failed, and she did not know how she was going to be able to console Clarke who definitely was going to be disappointed.

When she hears an explosion, her head snaps up.

"It worked!" Clarke's tone of delight was enough to push Lexa even more. They were one step closer to freeing their people!

"We need to get to that ridge to get the shooters." She says to no one on particular. Lincoln rises from behind her, but Lexa quickly turns to stop him.

"No! You stay with Clarke. When the shooting stops, get that door open."

With that, the Commander and a few of her people run towards the direction of the shooters. Lexa suddenly catches herself thinking of keeping Clarke safe more than anything else, and for the third time, she reminds herself that the people trapped in the mountain come first.

_Hodnes laik kwelnes._ _Especially now._

* * *

**_Hey! Sorry for the late update! Stuff got in the way, but we're back and ready for the finale! We're cutting this chapter after Lincoln explodes the bomb, but as you can see, we've set up the chapter for a pretty emotional version of Lexa's betrayal. Get ready for more of Lexa's inner conflict in the next one! Speaking of which, with the finale comes the start of this story's deviation from the series. Whether or nor we go completely AU from that point will be based on the finale but either way, we have awesome plans once the events in the series get out of the way. Also, Clarke actually getting torn between Bellamy and Lexa will come into play, so that's exciting. I am excited! Rant over. -M_**


	8. Chapter 8

Lexa wanted the war to be over soon. Her insides continue to battle, her mind versus her heart. It began to battle the moment Clarke returned her kiss for a short while, even as she broke it off, her response gave her hope.

_Not now but soon._

The Commander and her soldiers reach the ridge, ready for combat but what was waiting for them was not what they expected.

A man dressed differently from the snipers, stands tall and unarmed but still surrounded by armed Mountain Men. His face had showed that as if they had been expecting her arrival. _He was expecting me. A trap._

As if her people had read her mind, they were ready for an attack but the snipers continued to ignore their presence and even the Mountain Men by the side of their obvious leader were standing down.

"We mean no harm." The man held his hands up, a sign of surrender. "I came here to propose a deal."

Lexa looks over at the leader of the Mountain Men. His face pale from lack of sunlight was starting to give color due to that fact that he had cured himself using the blood of the Sky People. This was also the man that is responsible for making Reapers out of her people apart from capturing them to bleed them out and receive their blood.

_Yet here he is, within my grasp and unarmed._

The Commander stands tall and holds her head high as she signals her people to stand down as well. She looks over at the pale leader and nods.

* * *

_Pain._

When Lexa arrived with a tied up Emerson and ordering her people to stand down, Clarke knew what that sight had meant. She didn't want to believe it was true.

_You would have done the same._

That short sentence made Clarke realize that yes, she would have done the same if their roles were reversed. She would have hesitated, but Lexa wouldn't have done what she had done any differently. If the previous days were enough proof, it was obvious that Lexa was always going to be the Tri Kru Commander before anything else.

Lexa had seen her as her equal but feelings could not define her decisions because she had been raised to simply survive. To the Grounders, feeling was a perk that followed surviving and Clarke knew that.

_'Love is weakness.' That was her phrase. Something she lived by._

These thoughts swam over Clarke's head as she looked over the entrance of Mt. Weather. She notices Indra and her seconds without Octavia. She moves to the direction where they came from without a second thought, knowing full well that even as Octavia holds a grudge against her, she would fight alongside her.

As Clarke walks through the same tunnels she used to get out if the mountain not so long ago, the blonde vows to herself that she was going to get her people out.

_No matter what_.

* * *

Raven lets herself succumb to the the pain of a drill going through her skin.

_Don't leave me._

She had let herself be weak to Kyle and did not regret the words that came out of her mouth. She could still her his scream saying "Take me instead!" But she knew in her heart that she would rather be strapped in that bed than let him be hurt as well.

It wasn't easy for the young mechanic to accept the fact that she felt for her colleague, but she knew it was there. The pain of seeing Finn die in the hands of the only other woman he loved was still as present as ever, but Kyle was there to make it at least ease a little.

She fights really hard as a number of guards attempt to strap her onto the bed, and she knows she had gained the upper hand when she had bitten one of the guards' ear, but what she did not expect was the zap of electricity that ran through her body every time she tried to break free.

_Where was Clarke? Where was the army? _

It was only then that Raven had realized that Monroe and Sargent Miller was in there with the rest of them. Her weakened body stops struggling when she realizes that they were royally screwed. The moment she hears her bone marrow being sucked out of her, she closes her eyes and silently prays for a miracle, not that she was the praying type in the first place.

_Anytime now, Clarke._

* * *

Indra's body had been filled with dread the moment she heard the retreat sound loud and clear across the perimeter of the mountain. A thousand and one questions had run through her mind when she realizes that if the horn was sounded this early, it was possible that nothing had happened, and that the battle was not survivable for their people.

As she calls out to the rest of her team about retreating, her second stands firm on the idea that her brother wasn't going to be far from her for another day. Octavia refuses to leave the mines, leaving Indra with no choice but to strip her of the title she had given the young warrior not even an hour ago.

_Octavia kom Trigedakru._

She dreaded the moment of acknowledgement would soon end as the sound echoed through the mines. That moment did soon come as she called on her seconds to prepare to go back and Octavia stood still by the door.

"I'm staying." Octavia answered with her head held high and a hand on her sheath, her eyes filled with determination underneath the warpaint.

_There it is._

"Then you are no longer my second." The Tree Kru General turns as soon as she said the words, wanting not to have said them as she has seen all throughout the determination and strength of the Sky Girl to become the warrior that she is now.

Without looking back, Indra still felt the dread as she and her other seconds left the mines. It slowly crept up to her as she tried to push it away. She pushed it aside as she felt the young warrior's eyes on her retreating figure, she pushed it away when she heard the young warrior plead, and she pushed it away when she heard Octavia say she shouldn't trust the commander.

Indra knew that the commander wasn't doing this for the sake of it. The girl felt so much for the Sky Princess, but she knew that it was always her head over her heart with the commander. At that moment, Indra hopes that Clarke wasn't hurting, because if she was, then _Heda_ was too.

She felt for Octavia, understanding the instant decision that led her to stay because she too would have done the same if she had the chance.

_But she didn't, and right now, it didn't even matter._

* * *

Bellamy hoped for something out of the chaos ensuing upon them but Clarke shooting the former President of Mt. Weather was not exactly what he had in mind.

_Why didn't I stop her?_

His voice of conscience suddenly pops into his head. He ignored it instantly knowing that he would've shot the President as well if he was in Clarke's shoes. He feels bad for her, the decisions she had made thus far for all of them changed her so much. He was glad now that he could be there now for her as she continuous to make those decisions.

_At least I'm here for her now._

A look of guilt instantly shows on Clarke's face as soon as they witness Cage extracting his revenge by replacing Raven with Clarke's mom on the exam table. He knows what he had to do as Clarke started to hesitate with what Monty can do to solve their problem.

_Sorry, Princess but right now this is all we've got._

His silent apology also acknowledges Jasper as he sees him entering the room where the remaining of their people are kept. He knows full well of Jasper's feelings for Maya and they're all very grateful for her help thus far but right now the words that are about to come out of his mouth is the choice that has to be made. They're out of options and his Blonde co-leader knows it.

_You've been calling the shots this far, Princess but not its time for me to make this decision for you._

"Monty, radiate Level 5."

* * *

_It's over._

The remaining survivors of the Ark and the remaining of the100 are slowly vacating Mt. Weather. Those who were at Camp Jaha and could stomach the mass grave enter to collect supplies as Clarke looks over them.

_It's done._

Clarke arrives at the entrance of Camp Jaha with Monty by her side. She looks over at Bellamy assisting some of the soldiers with the supplies and walks over to stand guard by the gate. Monty stops and looks over as well.

"Are you just gonna look over and leave without saying goodbye?" Monty says the words as if he was reading her mind.

"I don't know what else to do. Saying goodbye to anyone in there would just make me stay."

"Clarke, I know it wasn't easy to kill all those people. I was in it too. I actually got to know some of them in there." Monty turns to her with guilt in his eyes.

_He made it possible to radiate Level 5._

"But that was all you did while I, I had to get more people killed. I just-" Clarke cuts off her sentence, knowing well that her friend would understand the end of it.

_I can't stay._

Monty turns to her and hugs her goodbye.

"Good luck out there." He smiles as he turns to walk into camp and Clarke looks over to him.

Good Luck is what she needed the moment they landed Earth, now she wonders if she's ever going to get it.

* * *

Bellamy approaches Clarke as Monty enters camp and he catches his eye.

_Why?_

That hug that they shared was clearly symbolizing a farewell that he wasn't informed of. Clarke leaving is a surprise to him considering the fact that they just won the war, given that there were a _lot _of casualties but nevertheless were their people safe.

_Princess, what are you up to now?_

Refusing to believe what he saw, he lightens up his tone to urge Clarke to make sense of what she wants to do.

"I think we deserve a drink."

"Have one for me."

Bellamy starts to feel the dread of how their conversation will end but he tries to prevent it from happening as much as he could.

"Hey. We can get through this."

He looks over at her determined to make her change her mind, even making the tone of his voice as sincere as he is.

"I'm not going in." Clarke's eyes start to water, her guilt consuming her for all the lives lost to be able save their people, blood stained on her hands. He won't let her blame herself for all this.

"Look. If you need forgiveness, I'll give that to you. You're forgiven. Please go inside."

_Don't go._

Bellamy looks over at her, making her see how much he doesn't want her to leave, not wanting to admit to how he was feeling.

"Take care of them for me."

"Clarke-"

"Seeing their faces everyday is just gonna remind me of what I did to get them here." Her voice starts to crack from straining her tears and he knows well that he has to let her do what she has already decided at that moment.

"What we did. You don't have to do this alone."

"I bear it so they don't have to." Her words mirroring President Wallace's words, moments before she shot him. He then knew that he can't keep her from leaving at all. _I can at least try to hear from her._

Bellamy hands her the radio that he got from Mt. Weather that was able to reach the radio frequency at Camp Jaha.

"Please at least take this with you."

"Bell-"

"You don't have to use it. But just in case." _In case you want me to come for you._

Clarke nods at him and smiles as she attaches the radio to her belt.

"Where are you gonna go?"He wants to go with her and it kills him inside that he is once again useless to her, useless and unable to ease her from her burden.

"I don't know."Clarke's voice cracks again but she immediately hugs Bellamy to keep him from seeing the tears fall from her eyes. She kisses him on the cheek, a chaste farewell to him making him want to go with her and never leave her again.

"May we meet again." She turns and walks away, people from camp unaware of her departure. He looks at his co-leader's back, slowly getting smaller as she reaches a distance away from him. He turns an walks away as well, wanting to give her the time she wants for herself but promising to himself that he will come running to her the moment she uses that radio.

_May we meet again._

* * *

**So sorry that it took us a while to post this. We were just so excited with all the ideas we had that we needed to calm down for a moment and finish this chapter that we wanted to give justice to the events of the season finale. Please keep those reviews coming and we'll reply as soon as we can! -FireAndMischief**

**_Also, this marks the beginning of the story, for real! I am very excited! Thank you to everyone who has read, reviewed and subscribed. Keep them coming, guys! -M_**


	9. Chapter 9

"You may be heartless Lexa, but you're smart."

_Heartless_.

Was she really? When Lexa heard those words come out of Clarke not so long ago, the Commander had decided that she wasn't going to prove her otherwise. It was for a reason that she acted that way, but she believed she was capable of feeling.

_I just choose not to feel_.

She says to herself. But right now? After all that's been said and done? The commander believes that maybe she is heartless, after all.

After walking away from Clarke at the entrance of the mountain, Lexa chose to walk alone. Her people surrounded her, celebrating the freedom of their people, but the young commander felt more alone than ever.

She was supposed to be celebrating the fall of the Mountain Men with Clarke right now. But she chose the easy way out.

_What a coward!_

But her choices were not cowardly at all. Lexa knew that what she did was the right decision for her people, but the thought of Clarke all alone outside that mountain bugged her more than she knew it should. She was a leader and her people come first.

_Clarke understands._

And yet, Lexa knew she had broken the Sky Girl's heart. What else was she supposed to do? It was her duty to put the best interest of her people first, and they were ready to kill every single one of them if it meant getting rid of the army once and for all. So she retreated, taking each and every warrior that answered to her. The Mountain Men wanted not even a single outsider within the immediate perimeter of their territory, and Lexa gave it to them, praying to all the gods that she knew to keep the keeper of her heart safe.

* * *

The troop reaches the remains of Tondc in record time, parting ways with those returning to Camp Jaha not so long ago. As the last member of the troop sets foot into the boundaries of the village, every person erupts in celebration. Hugs, hollers and cheers were exchanged all around, leaving everyone unaware of the distant commander who walks straight into the tent set up for her without a word.

Indra, who has kept an eye on the Commander the moment they retreated from the mountain, orders everyone to disperse and rest up for the rebuilding of Tondc which was going to start immediately, before deciding to personally stand outside Lexa's tent. The general subtly tries to take a peek into the flaps of the tent, but fails to see a sign of the commander anywhere from her obstructed view.

Inside, Lexa finds herself curling up in a ball on her throne. The young leader does not bother to wash off the blood and warpaint on her, choosing to just sit. Her eyebrows furrowed deeper as she tried to make sense of her actions just a couple of hours before.

"Heda?" The strong voice pulls Lexa out of deep thought. She pushes herself towards the door, moving the flap so that she could see the face of her general. Lexa raises her eyebrows at Indra, but does not say anything.

Indra does not show her surprise when she sees the commander still covered in blood and warpaint. The older woman shakes of her surprise but chooses to address the young leader carefully.

"Our people have a lot of questions."

Lexa nods, but still does not say anything.

"If I may ask, Heda, are we supposed to just let the Sky People stay on our territory without the Alliance?"

Lexa's heart, and the ache assured her that she did have one, broke at the flash of Clarke's face in her head once again.

"We just leave them be, Indra. We were the ones that left them in the middle of a war. We owe it to them to at least do that if they come out of the mountain alive."

Lexa feels her knees go weak at the thought of Clarke being dead. She had already lost Costia to an enemy, and she wasn't going to let Clarke suffer the same fate. And so with a decision made with her heart this time, Lexa gives out an order she hopes she won't regret later.

"Lincoln has made it clear he disagreed with my decision to make a deal with the mountain men. Find out if he still feels the same way." With her order is a small knife which the general takes from her hand carefully. Indra nods before turning back to where Lincoln was currently being held prisoner.

* * *

At the word of Lincoln escaping, Lexa cannot help but feel envious. Everyone knew of Lincoln's relationship with Octavia, and everyone knew that Octavia was most loyal to no one but her brother. At that moment, all she wanted to do was follow Lincoln into the woods in order to be there for Clarke the same way he was for Octavia, but of course that was impossible. Not when the lives of thousands of people depended on her.

It was late, and the rest of Tondc was fast asleep. Lexa put on her cloak, and only armed herself with a dagger. She left her her tent swiftly and silently, letting her instinct make most of her movements because she clearly wasn't thinking rationally now.

It was dawn by the time she reached the top of a tree, overlooking a full view of Mt. Weather.

People started to file out of the door of Mt. Weather. Teams of people were divided to rescuing, retrieval and taking of supplies. Lexa smiled inwardly, sure that Clarke had thought of everything that needed to be done.

_The war was finally over._

She notices a patch of blonde hair, fully aware it was her Sky counterpart. She watches as Clarke gets wrapped in the arms of a boy with tan skin and chinky eyes. Lexa notices that she hasn't seem this boy anywhere and assumes that this was one of Clarke's people trapped in the mountain.

Her eyes linger before moving towards the front of the pack. She sees the engineer they call Wick, cradling Raven in his arms. The Commander inwardly smiles when she sees that Bellamy was also in the group. Lexa mentally thanks him for his efforts in saving all of their people. She then spots Lincoln who is finally joining the group from the woods. She follows him with her eyes until he finds his lover. Octavia's eyes widen at the sight of him before jumping up to wrap her arms around him. Indra would be glad to know that the couple has made it alive. Lexa ignores that knawing feeling in her stomach when she sees the couple reunite. She pushes the thoughts of her and Clarke having the same kind of reunion away.

_At least not anytime soon._

Her eyes return to Clarke, who is now walking with Bellamy and the boy from earlier. She sees Bellamy watching the blonde with careful eyes, and decides that if there was one person she could trust with keeping Clarke safe the most, it was Bellamy. She watches until the group disappears into the trees towards the clearing where Camp Jaha is.

_Take care of her, Bellamy. Ai hod yu in, Clarke kom Skaikru._

* * *

Lexa quickly returns to the remains of the village before the sun reached its peak. She is quickly tended to by a couple of her guards, but she dismisses them before walking towards her tent. The Commander releases a breath she didn't know she was holding, before looking at the flaps that separated her from her people. It was at that moment that Lexa realized that seeing her people safe and well reminded her of the guilt that she had tried to push away immediately after walking away from Clarke.

_Clarke is safe now_.

Lexa repeats those words in her head a couple of times before finally deciding to join the celebration outside her sanctuary.

* * *

Lexa spends the rest of the day with her people in their Victory Celebration and then a quick meeting with her generals on their plans for the future. The Commander does not allow them to plan ahead, and decides that they focus on rebuilding Tondc before she is due to leave for Polis. She tries to put off thinking about the blonde for as long as she could, but once she is in the safety of her own tent, sleep evades her and leaves her with endless thoughts of the blonde who held her heart instead.

It is only on the third day of rebuilding during the day and laying awake at night that Lexa decides to make use of the time originally dedicated to sleep to just be alone for real. The commander walks out of her tent, her dagger and sword sheathed on her side. She puts on a few pieces of her armor, and then puts on her boots before walking towards the forest.

* * *

She finds herself walking aimlessly. She has had zero sleep in a couple of days, and quite frankly, sitting alone in her tent has been no help at all. Lexa is deep in thought when the silence of the forest is broken when she hears a twig snap not far from where she was standing.

Her head whips towards the sound. Her hand wraps around the sword sheathed on her side at she walks closer towards where the sound came from. She stops when she sees the maker of the sound. Her breath hitches when she sees blue eyes frozen against her own.

If it weren't for the silence of the night, she wouldn't hear the word that fell from the blonde's lips.

"Lexa."

* * *

**_This chapter isn't that long, but it opens the story for real. We're done with following the series, so it's up to all of us from here onwards. (Wink,wink) I hope you liked this chapter! Thanks for reading! -M_**


	10. Chapter 10

"You have to go back."

A pair of green eyes look, full of determination was what Clarke can see as Lexa sets those eyes upon her. She looks over the Commander of the Grounders with eyes full of surrender and tiredness. _I seriously do not have the energy to fight._

"I know you are tired, Clarke."

They both sit below a tall tree with their backs on the tree trunk. Clarke sighs over the fact that Lexa was once again reading her, reading her well too.

"I am. I just." Clarke sighs again as she turns away and looks over a two headed deer that gallops away, a great distance from there but close enough for them to see."

"I want to be free of something that I never wanted to be responsible for." She looks over at Lexa once again with those tired eyes.

"I know what you mean. I do not want to compare my experiences but I did feel like this. After uniting clans that have been at war for as long as anyone here could remember, it is not such an easy thing to do." Lexa wanted to share her insights to Clarke knowing that this would be enough to convince her to go back to Camp Jaha or maybe even Polis.

"Truthfully, we have been taught to be wary of you people when the time comes that you come back to where you came from." Lexa looks over to the sky, remembering what it looked like with the Ark Station there along with the stars that forever paint light over the darkness of the night.

"Your people did not manage to save others who survived all those years ago and it lead to chaos. It was a chaos that I was able to fix. Especially with the Mountain Men gone-"She cuts off her sentence, knowing full well of the consequences of her recent decision that led to the demise of Sky Kru trapped in the Mountain.

Clarke turns away and lets a silence fall between them.

"I know that your decision was a way out you had to take." Blue eyes stare back into Lexa's again.

"You were right. I would have done the same. "

The two leaders have come to an understanding that words need not to be said. Lexa stands up and offers a hand to the blonde. Neither says anything as Clarke accepts Lexa's hand which immediately helps her rise to her feet.

Lexa loosens her hand around Clarke's, but Clarke does not let go. She glances at the broken girl before tightening her grip around the blonde's hand again.

Clarke let Lexa lead as they were at a great distance from Camp Jaha. She chose that distance to be able to find a good excuse not to radio Bellamy.

* * *

Camp Jaha continues to proceed to its normalcy, as if it was like any other day in the Ark.

People would come and go, even those who followed Jaha came back, empty handed but with scars that tell their journey and how they clearly would not go back.

Clarke's mom, Abby, fashions a scar that she does not try to hide. Bellamy had not so far as told her of how was able to keep in touch with Clarke with the radio he gave her before she took off.

Even if it was the Commander's doing, he was able to hear her voice, he instantly had the chance to imagine her blonde hair and blue eyes as well as her smile when she laughed at his comeback.

"Did you finally realize you were missing me, Princess?"Her giggle was music to his ears and he can't help but smile.

"Hey Bellamy, how are things there?" Their small talk wasn't in any way too serious when it started. They were simply catching up, although Clarke's next subject change caught completely off guard.

"I'm going back." Bellamy was in the midst of preparing to join the hunting party that day and Clarke's statement made him freeze and almost drop the radio.

"I didn't think you'd miss me that much." He did a quick save before he was about to voice out his astonishment to her decision and ask her if that said decision was because of certain Commander.

_At least she trusts me._

Even with that thought he could not stop the pang of jealousy he felt knowing full well that the Commander convinced Clarke to come back and not him.

_Guess I'll have to thank her for that._

"Lexa's taking me. She might stay a while."

_Lexa. _Clarke always preferred to call the Commander by her name. She's basically the only person he knows that has the guts to call her by her first name.

"You do know that everyone here in camp is aware of what _Lexa_ decided in the middle of our war with Mt. Weather right?" Bellamy said the Commander's name sarcastically, wanting to point out his sudden irritation.

"She can stay out of sight-"

"Nevermind. I can take care of it. I'll help you out. Just radio me when you're a couple of hours away." He cut her off before he can think it over.

"She had to do what she had to do, Bell." He hears his co-leader whisper in the commander's defense through the radio. "Just like we did."

Bellamy swallows the lump in his throat when he bids Clarke goodbye. At that moment, he wanted to both hate and be Lexa. The woman was the only one who was able to convince Clarke that she needed to return to her people, when he had tried to do the same even before the blonde had run off to nurse her guilt.

* * *

Lexa and Clarke both walked silently as they made their way to camp. Clarke, because she was waist deep in thoughts about what the future held, and Lexa, simply because she felt like did not need to say anything at that moment.

"You won't leave me, right?" Clarke breaks the silence, quietly asking Lexa the very question she's had since she laid eyes on the commander again.

"Not if you don't want me to. I will have to return to Tondc at some point though. Not even Indra knows where I am. My people have the right to know where I am."

Lexa watches as Clarke's face contorts into the mask she herself has perfected over the years of being commander.

"Your thoughts are bothering you." Lexa observes. Clarke slightly nods as they continue walking.

"I don't think I should be going back." The blonde confesses without the urging of the brunette. "I don't deserve to be back. Not after I killed all those people in the mountain."

"You did what you had to do, Clarke. For your people."

Despite the fact that she disagrees with Lexa, she continues walking anyway. If Lexa was able to power through her own guilt, then so should she.

* * *

Bellamy starts to pace in his tent with one thought in his mind.

_I have to hide the Commander._

He knows full well she can manage with her being Tree Clan and all but he also knows that she will constantly be in contact with Clarke. He was able to organize a tent near the edge of the fence so that Clarke could be able to still be in contact with the Commander. Bellamy also spoke with Monty to be able to turn off the wires when needed.

_I have to hide both of them in a way._

He was also aware of the fact that Clarke has to be able to let herself be with her people and that relying on the Commander being there will not help her case. Octavia was the first person he went to about what was about to happen in the next few days, she was the only person he can trust in camp anyways.

"She better be fine by now. Her guilt ate me up too when I saw the look on her face." Octavia agreed to his plan easily, instantly understanding what needs to be done.

_I have to show her what she's missing. That everyone was worth actually killing for._

Bellamy has to be able to take away the guilt that Clarke carries. _She has to help me with this too. __I have to be alone with that Commander at some point._

Before he can ponder on his thoughts more, the buzz of his radio fills the silence in his tent.

"Hey Bell, we're a few hours away."

_Better late then never._


	11. Chapter 11

As the Commander and the Sky Princess neared camp Jaha, Lexa feels the blonde's hand tighten around her own. She looks at her counterpart before squeezing her hand in return.

"Everything is going to be alright." Lexa convinces Clarke. The blonde looks at Lexa with unsure eyes, but nods in agreement anyway.

Lexa knew how worried Clarke was and it kills her inside when she can only look over her from afar.

"Now would be a good time to hide, Commander." Bellamy's voice booms over the radio. Once again, Clarke's hand tightens at the idea of being away from Lexa. The brunette feels this and takes a deep breath before grabbing the radio from Clarke.

"Is it really necessary for me to hide, Bellamy?" _Clarke needs me._

The blonde's co-leader stays silent that Lexa is almost surprised when she hears his voice crackle once again.

"I guess not."

* * *

Bellamy's heart breaks at the sight of Clarke's hands clasped tightly around Lexa's. Sometimes he tells himself that the Commander might not even have romantic feelings for his princess, but damn it, he just knew. Why else would she even come back after betraying them at the mountain? She got what she wanted and was free to do whatever she desired. What he couldn't fathom though, was why Clarke had chosen to open up to the young grounder in the first place.

His sister, who was still wary of the Commander raises an eyebrow at the hands of the two leaders, before nudging him to continue walking. Octavia walks faster and throws her arms around the blonde leader who gets startled at the contact, and tenses up at the disappearance of Lexa's hand around her own. She does not return the hug nor does she talk to the young delinquent. When Octavia lets go, Bellamy walks towards Clarke and wraps her in his arms, before softly kissing her hair.

"We missed you, Princess." He whispers.

Lexa watches Bellamy hold Clarke tightly. Did he feel for Clarke the same way that she did? The Commander averts her eyes, and instead meets Octavia's. She nods at the young warrior whose eyes hardened the moment it met hers.

"Octavia."

"Heda." Octavia looks away, turning to Bellamy, who has now put his arm around Clarke, impatiently.

"Let's go, Bell. We have to get back."

"We'll take it from here, Commander." Bellamy says to her. Clarke looks up to Lexa in panic. The blonde doesn't say a word, but her eyes were almost pleading. _I can't leave her just yet._

Just as Bellamy nudges Clarke to turn, Lexa grabs her hand. "You'll know when I'm near. I promise." She quickly lets go of Clarke's hand and walks away, knowing well that she is looking at her back. She can _feel _Clarke's eyes on her, a feeling so powerful and unfading as the touch of her hand on hers.

Bellamy looks over at the back of Clarke's head looking over as Lexa's walks away but not entirely leaving them. Octavia grunts behind them and they both turn to her.

"What?"She looks at them quizzically as they both wonder aloud why she grunted in protest. "I'm not exactly welcome in 'Grounder Club' anymore and they even banished Lincoln so go figure." She walks back to camp first as Bellamy and Clarke still stay behind.

* * *

Lincoln watches as Octavia walks briskly back into the camp. The former trigedakru warrior wonders why the girl's brother was no where to be found but he does not linger on the thought as he sees Bellamy leading a very familiar blonde, not very far behind Octavia.

Curiously, he walks to meet his lover at the gates of the camp with a raised eyebrow.

"The Commander found her in the woods, apparently." Octavia explains, already knowing what he was going to ask.

He nods, opting not to say anything. Lincoln wasn't exactly pleased with the commander himself, but he owed her for letting him live. Indra might have let him go, but if the commander had wanted him dead, she could have easily sent someone after him. Lincoln turns his attention to Bellamy who was watching Clarke's every step with so much caution.

"Since when has Bellamy been in love with Clarke?" He asks the leader's sister. Octavia makes a face at him before turning around to observe her brother and the blonde leader. She turns back to him, slightly smiling, before shaking her head at him.

"You're usually the one who would say this but stay out of it. Clarke is nowhere near ready to be in any kind of relationship right now." Octavia says, her small smile growing wider.

"If she was though, it would be with Bellamy." Octavia slaps his arm and laughs at his serious statement.

"Do you seriously think that my brother and Clarke belong together? They both have fun arguing with each other, I doubt becoming a couple would do them any good."

Lincoln shrugs as he sees Bellamy and Clarke approaching the gates.

* * *

"Clarke! Clarke's back!"

Clarke tenses up as she hears the voice of one of the delinquents resonate around the camp. All of a sudden, the seemingly peaceful compound was filled with commotion. She feels Bellamy's hand on her shoulder, urging her to continue walking.

As she and Bellamy walked closer, everything started to become one big blur. The blonde barely registered the excited and relieved faces of her friends when she feels a set of arms enclose her in a tight hug, all she wanted to do was run away.

"Oh Clarke, honey! I thought you were never coming back! Where have you been?" Clarke tries to shrug away her mother's arms she tried to walk further into the camp. Her eyes stayed glued to the ground beneath her, as she let herself be guided to wherever they were going.

When Abby finally let's go, Bellamy stops, prompting Clarke to stop as well. The blonde slightly looks up and lets out the breath she didn't know she was holding. They were right in front of her tent. Bellamy was holding the flap open for her, smiling slightly.

"Just call me if you need anything."

The blonde simply nods, before walking towards her tent.

"Bell?" She asks just as Bellamy turns to walk away.

"Can you... I think I need Lexa."

* * *

_**All I have to say is that the struggle is real. I have never been hit with writer's block as bad as this one (well I have, but never for this story) Anyway, here's a short chapter that we have come up with. I hope you enjoy! Thanks for all the reviews! -M**_


	12. Chapter 12

She_ thought_ she needed Lexa.

Why on earth would she _need _Lexa?

Bellamy's forehead creases as he hears the words fall out of Clarke's lips. How was he ever going to compete with someone who seemed to have figured out the way to Clarke's heart? Did Lexa actually care for Clarke the way he did? Did Clarke return those feelings?

He nods at his co-leader before exiting her tent, walking straight to where some of the delinquents were quietly talking. Octavia immediately notices his somber expression.

"What's wrong? Princess reject your declarations of love?" The youngest Blake asks with a teasing smile. Bellamy glares at her as Jasper, Monty, Lincoln, and Raven look at him in surprise and excitement.

"You have feelings for Clarke?" Jasper asks excitedly, but Bellamy simply looks at him to silence him. Raven snorts at his expression and mumbles something to Monty.

"He's moping because he finally figured out Clarke has a thing for the Commander. I'm telling you, you'd know what I mean if you see them together."

Lincoln overhears Raven's comment and raises an eyebrow a mechanic. He opens his mouth, but Bellamy doesn't give him a chance.

"I don' t have time for this. I need to figure out how to tell the Chancellor that her daughter_ needs_ Lexa." He says, putting air quotations at the commander's name.

The remaining delinquents and Lincoln share a look before the former Trigedakru warrior breaks the silence.

"I doubt Clarke and the commander are anything but friends, Raven." He says, smirking at the tan girl. "I'm sure it's Bellamy she has feelings for. Besides, the commander betrayed her. That's not a good way to start a union."

"You two care to make a wager on that? A month's worth of rations for whoever's correct?" Jasper says, rubbing his palms together. When Raven and Lincoln express their affirmation, Octavia rolls her eyes.

"We have better things to do, you guys. Besides, it's none of our business, really."

"He's your brother, how is it not your business?!" Jasper exclaims, disregarding Monty's obvious support for Octavia's statement.

"Fine. Let's see how this plays out and then you'll all be sorry"

"Sorry for what?"

"Thinking of the stupid bet in the first place" And with the last word, Octavia walks away with a nodding Monty in her wake

* * *

"You wanted to see me?" Bellamy wanted to make sure he got the first word in the moment he stepped in Chancellor Griffin's quarters.

_I don't really want anything to do with Clarke right now and being summoned by her mom is not helping._

"You look terrible" Abby notes the distraught look on Bellamy's face. "Thinking too much doesn't really fit you."

_I wouldn't be if it wasn't for your daughter_.

"It's nothing. The way things are calm so far is just-" Bellamy paused thinking of the right words to say without looking like a total idiot who cares too much for this woman's daughter.

"Just what?" Abby looks at him quizzically.

"I just need some adjustment from all the fighting and the battles that are finally over at the moment."

"These things are never really done Bellamy. Its more like its all on pause right now." Abby sits in her chair and looks at him directly, obviously reading into him

"I know that's not the reason you have that look on you though." Abby sighs, as if finally realizing his inner torture. "What did she ask of you?"

Bellamy pauses for a second before spitting it all out in one breath.

"Clarke wants to see the Commander."

Abby looks at Bellamy like he has grown second head.

"Why on earth would Clarke want to see the Commander after what happened at the mountain?!"

If he weren't so concerned over this as well, he'd be laughing at Abby's face right now. It showed a mix of being scandalized, concerned and actual understanding for her what her daughter needs right now. Bellamy doesn't answer Abby's question for the fear of angering the Chancellor further.

"Bellamy." Abby calls out to the young leader. "Did Clarke tell you why she wants to see the Commander?"

Bellamy sighs in defeat. If it wasn't Abby, it'd be Kane, or Raven, or Jasper or whoever he'd be forced to explain everything to.

"The Commander, no, Lexa" he corrects himself sarcastically. "She was the one who brought Clarke back."

Abby raises an eyebrow at his tone but decides to stay out of it.

"Well then, where was she earlier?"

"In the woods. On the way back to Tondc. We figured it would be too much if she came here."

Abby's eyebrow crumple at Bellamy's answer.

"Is there anything going on with Clarke and the commander?" The chancellor almost laughs at the sudden change on Bellamy's face. She has observed that her daughter's co-leader had feelings for Clarke, and she had an idea that the Commander had a soft spot for Clarke, but she didn't know that Bellamy was aware of Lexa's feelings.

"No. I don't think so." Bellamy finally answers. Abby nods and holds another smile at his tone.

"Okay then. Get someone to call for the Commander. And have one of the kids stay with Clarke at all times."

With that, Bellamy nods, and exits the Chancellor's quarters.

* * *

"Clarke?" Bellamy calls to the blonde, who was still on her bed. "I'm going to talk to the commander. I'm sending Octavia and Raven in here, if you need to talk to someone."

Clarke's head barely moves in acknowledgement, but Bellamy takes it. He steps out of his co-leader's tent before addressing his sister and his friend.

"Don't push her into talking if she doesn't want to. She's obviously very fragile, and you need to keep your mouth shut." He looks at the younger girls pointedly. "She doesn't need to hear anything about your theories about my feelings, her feelings or anyone else's, okay?" Octavia nods at her brother, while Raven shrugs and gives her one-time fling a small smirk.

"It's like you don't trust us at all, Bell." The mechanic says.

"I don't." He says curtly. "I'm going to be back as soon as possible."

"Are you bringing the Commander with you?" Raven asks excitedly. Octavia rolls her eyes at her friend, while Bellamy simply nods before walking off to find the small team of people he was bringing with him on his short trip to the remains of Tondc where, he hoped, Lexa was still staying.

_I can't believe I'm doing this. Only for you, Princess._

* * *

Clarke does not acknowledge Octavia and Raven who enter the room as obnoxiously as possible. Clarke watches her two friends bicker as they make their way towards her. She watches as Octavia shushes Raven for the third time in the span of a minute, and inwardly smiles at how much her friend has changed from the moment she first set foot on earth.

"Raven, can you please shut up?!" Octavia exasperatedly at Raven, who was grinning at Clarke the whole time she babbled about how annoying Wick was. The mechanic's antics cracks a small smile from the blonde, but it disappears as quickly as it came.

Both Raven and Octavia witness this, and quickly exchange glances at the now rare sight of their blonde leader smiling. Raven turns to look at Clarke seriously.

"I thought you weren't going to come back." She smiles sadly. "I just... I lost Finn, and I thought I was going to lose you too. You're the only one left to remind me of him. And well, I don't want to forget."

Raven steps forward stops right in front of Clarke.

"Can I hug you?" She asks, remembering how the blonde shrugged her mother off earlier.

Clarke hesitates before nodding tentatively. Before she can process anything else, she feels the brunette's arms wrap around her tightly, but carefully. She doesn't hug back, but turns to look at Octavia.

"You joining in, or what?" She says a bit cheerfully, but with a broken smile.

Octavia grins before jumping in to join her two friends.

This time, Clarke doesn't hesitate to hug them back.

* * *

**This is looooong overdue. Sorry about that! Work has taken control over our lives, but I have a rare moment of freedom, so here you go! Lol this was not how we planned the story, but this whole thing wrote itself. Thanks for reading you guys! -M**


	13. Chapter 13

Bellamy walks purposefully as he and his small group neared TonDC's boundaries. His companions, Lincoln, Miller, and two other guards, watched his face grow more serious as the distance between them and their destination grew

"You don't have to do this, you know?" Lincoln asks as he walked towards his lover's brother. "We can tell Clarke that the Commander didn't want to come with us."

Bellamy looks at Lincoln suspiciously.

"Is this about your bet with Raven?" He rolls his eyes at the grounder-turned-Sky Person who guiltily shrugs.

"Not really. You look like you're going to vomit at the thought of being the one to bring the Commander to Clarke."

This time, it is Bellamy who shrugs. He no longer has the energy to even deny his feelings for Clarke. At this point, it feels like it's only Clarke who has no idea.

"It's what she wants."

Bellamy then walks a little faster, leaving his companions to rush behind him.

_What the princess wants, the princess gets. Even if it's the Commander._

* * *

Clarke watches as her two friends settled on Octavia's bed. The silence doesn't take long, as Raven breaks it with the question she has been dying to ask the blonde.

"Why didn't you tell us you were leaving?" Octavia elbows Raven slightly, but the mechanic simply shrugs her friend's elbow off. "We would have tried our best to help you forget, you know that." She says, this time a little softer.

Raven may not have been part of the 100 delinquents, and Bellamy, but she knew how much shit had gone through, the moment the drop ship's doors opened the day they landed on the ground.

Clarke shrugs.

"I didn't know who I was anymore." She says with a sigh. "I had so many questions, I had so many decisions to make, and I just couldn't take it. What was I supposed to do?"

"Talk to us?" Octavia offers hesitantly.

"You wouldn't have understood." Clarke says apologetically.

"We would have tried to." Raven says. "You're our leader, but we don't expect you to be perfect. You're just as human as we are."

"What were you doing with the Commander anyway?" Octavia asked tentatively, afraid her question might offend her brother's co-leader.

"I found...She fou- We found each other in the woods. She was out on patrol with some of her guards, and I was looking for a place to spend the night. I guess I wasn't as quiet as I thought."

"And Bellamy said something about you needing her?"

Clarke shrugs. Again.

* * *

"She understands."

"Won't Bellamy understand? Your Mom?"

"Neither of them had to fight a war after being betrayed by the person they least expected." She says with a humorless chuckle.

"I'm surprised you trusted the Commander like that. I never did." Octavia says softly. "She left her people to save herself when the missile hit, it's not that much of a surprise that she would do the same to us. Not when she could get what she needs without risking anything else."

"She... I... We..." Clarke sighs. "It's different. She's... not as heartless as everyone here thinks."

"So you forgave her for leaving us... for leaving you at the mountain?" Raven asks, more curious about the stoic commander more than ever.

"I haven't, to be honest. _But it's Lexa_." She answers like it's the most obvious thing in the world.

"What do you mean?" The two brunettes ask, genuinely curious at the blonde's statement.

Clarke doesn't answer. Raven and Octavia don't push their friend for an answer, but both of their brains, especially the mechanic's, started working double time, trying to make sense of what Clarke had just said.

* * *

"Hod up!" Someone orders just meters before TonDC's gates.

"Ai laik Lincoln kom Tri...skaikru! We seek audience with the Heda." Lincoln says, stumbling over his words as he corrected himself, for he was no longer Trikru, not since Indra had helped him escape.

The guards nod, eyeing both Lincoln and Bellamy in recognition. Miller looks around nervously, but the guards remain calm, as both have had their own share of assignments in the TonDC area.

It doesn't take long for guards to come and escort the group to the Commander's tent. Among the guards were Ryder, Clarke's guard before the war destroyed them all.

"Lincoln." The guard says, barely acknowledging the former Trikru warrior. Lincoln nods in reply, but remains quiet and alert as he watches the rest of TonDC stop their activities to watch them as they made their way towards the Commander's tent.

The group stops just outside what most of them know as the Commander's tent. Lincoln watches as Bellamy's face becomes unreadable. Did he know that Clarke spent most nights in that tent before the war? His thoughts are then interrupted by a very familiar voice.

"The Heda wishes to talk to Bellamy of the Sky People alone." Indra says, as intimidating as ever. She then nods at the guards in recognition, but does not spare a glance at her former warrior.

Bellamy looks back at his companions, before sighing.

For Clarke.

* * *

"You wanted to see me?" Lexa asks, her back to Bellamy, as she poured herself a drink.

"Clarke has been asking for you." He says.

Direct to the point. This isn't as hard as he had imagined. He just has to stay calm and they'll be back in Camp Jaha before they know it.

Lexa holds a smile at Bellamy's words. Lexa had been nervous at the thought of leaving Clarke again, fearing the blonde would ask her to stay away for good, this time around. Careful not to show her surprise, she sets her mask on before turning to look at the other Skaikru leader.

"I was set to go back to your camp at first light tomorrow." She informs him. "I would have sent word, but I was worried it would cause more trouble."

"I'm sure it will." Bellamy mumbles, causing Lexa to furrow her eyebrows. "But it does not change the fact that Clarke needs you."

Lexa doesn't say anything, and Bellamy takes this as a sign to keep going.

"She's been pacing non stop, trying to calm herself down. We all tried to talk to her, but none of us have succeeded yet. I left her with Octavia and Raven, hoping those two might be able to get those words out of her, but so far, all we know is that she wants you there. She won't eat, Commander. She flinches every time someone tries to touch her. Maybe you should, I dunno, stay there for a while."

Lexa sighs at Bellamy's words. She couldn't leave for Polis if Clarke wasn't well. She had hoped to see her well tomorrow, so that she could tell the blonde that she was leaving indefinitely in a week's time. She had planned on going back to Polis, and has put it off more than enough times already, and was doubtful that her mother would appreciate her staying yet another week away from home.

It wasn't ideal, really. Lexa knew that leaving might put more strain on her temporary truce with the blonde who held her heart, but as much as she held power over the largest clan on the ground, her mother was still her mother.

Lexa knew that she might have been killing any possibility of being more than just friends with Clarke by leaving, but she knew that Clarke needed to find herself more than finding anything else right now.

"So are you coming back with me, or should I tell Clarke that you're busy and that you'd come as soon as you can?" Bellamy's voice snaps her out of her thoughts, so she nods at the leader.

"You can go ahead, I'll be there before the night ends. Would we be safe from any attacks at your Camp, or should we be prepared for battle?"

Bellamy rolls his eyes.

"Nobody will attack you. The Chancellor will be on that as soon as she gets word of your arrival."

Lexa nods.

"I will be there shortly after you and your companions arrive." She reiterates to Clarke's co-leader. "And Bellamy?"

She calls out to him just before he turns to exit the Commander's tent.

"For what it's worth, I did it for my people." She says, suddenly wondering where the need to explain to him came from. Bellamy shrugs.

"Can't say I would have done anything differently. Clarke wouldn't have either. I guess, we just trusted you too much." A beat. "We'll see you, Commander."

This time, he turns around and exits before Lexa could answer him.

* * *

Lincoln relaxes at the sight of Bellamy exiting the Commander's tent in one piece. He chose not to say anything, but the former Trikru warrior had feared for Bellamy's life. Commander Lexa was not always heartless, but those two had something deeper than just Lexa's betrayal between them.

"What did she say?" Miller asks, jumping up from the ground.

"She's leaving just after we do." Bellamy says, his expression unreadable. "We should get back and have ready for the Commander and her entourage."

One of the guards sends a notice of their arrival to the base camp through the radio on his hip, and not before long, Bellamy and his small group of warriors were on their way back to Camp Jaha.

Bellamy knows he did his part. He did what he had to do even if he still feels like there's a huge knot on his stomach.

_I guess I'm not really enough huh, Princess? _

* * *

_What am I doing?_

Lexa hates how she's acting so childish with the situation. She hates how she's just so weak when it comes to her Sky counterpart.

_Weak_.

She spit off the word from her head. I am not weak. And nor will she ever be. She knows what she has to. She has to make the decision and even if it's not what she wants but more of what she needs to do.

_I have made up my mind. I'm going to through with it whatever she may say._

* * *

**Sorry for the delay! We have been super busy with work and we haven't even seen each other for months. We're also super excited for the next season's return! We'll try to publish the next chapter as soon as we can! Thank you so much for all your support!**


	14. Chapter 14

Lincoln watched as Bellamy silently marched towards Camp Jaha, his eyebrows too furrowed to even be considered normal.

"Bellamy?" He tentatively says to his lover's brother. Bellamy barely spares a glance at him, but he walks faster towards him anyway. He lays a hand on the leader's shoulder and softly reminds him why he just did what he did. "This is for Clarke, remember?"

Bellamy nods.

_For_ _Clarke_.

Of course, Bellamy knew that he was doing this for his princess. It had hurt, hearing her ask for the Commander like she didn't just leave them to die at the mountain, but he had to do it, just like how he had let her walk away on her own.

"It's what she wants." He says more to himself than to the former trikru warrior.

* * *

At Camp Jaha, Raven and Octavia sat across Clarke who simply listened as Raven recounted the events that lead her to sleep with Wick.

"It's weird." Raven said for the hundredth time. "We were talking about the acid fog one minute, and were making out the next. I had to stop it from going too far that first time, I had to set off the signal that the acid fog was gone..."

Clarke had lost herself there. That signal had gone off shortly after she told Lexa that she couldn't be with anyone just yet. Was it possible that Raven and Wick had gotten together just around the time she and Lexa hand kissed?

At that moment, Clarke was unaware that her two closest friends have been watching her as she traced her lips, remembering the feeling of Lexa's on it.

"Anything you want to share with the class, Griffin?" Raven asks obnoxiously, snapping Clarke out of her daydream.

"Nothing... It's just that..." Clarke hesitates. "Nevermind."

"Nope. You can't just say nevermind after spending a good five minutes touching your lips." Raven says, much to Octavia's annoyance. Her friend was as tactless as ever, and she was using it to her advantage.

"Raven, Bell told you not to bug Clarke." Octavia warned the other dark haired girl.

"You're the one who's bugging Clarke with your presence." Raven retorted, winking at Clarke who was unsuccessfully containing her giggle at her friends' antics.

"Seriously though." Raven says. "What gives, Clarke?"

At that moment, Clarke wished for nothing but the ground to swallow her. She didn't need Raven and Octavia on her case about Lexa at the moment. And besides, she didn't even know where she and Lexa stood right now. Especially not when a good portion of her people saw Lexa and the rest of the grounders as traitors.

"Do you really think you're doing the right thing?" Octavia takes the silence as a chance to change the topic.

"What am I doing?" Clarke asks, genuinely confused.

"Letting them back into our lives." Raven says, standing to move beside the blonde leader. She believed that Clarke and Lexa belonged together, but Lexa hadn't been there when Clarke needed her the most.

"You know you can tell us anything, right? Did something happen with the commander when they found you?"

Clarke had felt guilty for lying to them. She didn't even know why she did it, it had been an unconscious decision but maybe it was because it felt wrong telling them that the presence of the woman who had left them all to die had calmed her like a drug.

She didn't know if it was the look on the eyes of Octavia and Raven, or the thought of Lexa that did it, but Clarke was surprised at her sudden desire to tell her friends the truth.

"I wasn't actually found by Lexa and her guards." Clarke says. "It was just me and her. She found me about a day's walk from here. It was near the other side of TonDC, and she was taking a walk, I guess. I wanted to hit her, hate her, whatever. I wanted to do it. But I couldn't. I was so tired, and she was there. And I understood her."

_I bear it so they don't have to._

"She had done it for her people, and I just couldn't blame her."

Raven and Octavia showed no emotion as Clarke told them about why she had decide to come back so suddenly.

"Soon she was telling me that I had to come back. I didn't want to, but I was suddenly letting her lead me back."

At that moment, it had hit Clarke that how much she trusted Lexa was as baffling as how her friends had made it out to be.

"It was like..." a pause. "I trusted her as much as trust Bellamy. She could have been leading me elsewhere to leave me to die, but I trusted her."

"You have so much faith in her." Octavia said sadly. "And time and time again, she had disappointed you, Clarke."

Clarke simply shrugs, the guilt of what had happened in the mountain plaguing her once more.

Raven and Octavia exchange a look.

_Bellamy better succeed in bringing Lexa back._

* * *

When Clarke falls asleep, Raven moves to sit back on Octavia's bed before nudging the younger girl.

"She goes back to the memory of the mountain over and over." Raven says quietly, careful not to wake their broken leader.

Octavia nods.

"I saw it. She was talking about Lexa, and then suddenly her eyes were dull again."

"She needs her." Raven says, finally understanding what Clarke had been saying earlier.

"But Bell loves Clarke. Probably more than the Commander does."

Raven does a double take on her friend.

"So you do believe that they both love her?"

"Of course I do. I have eyes, you know? And what the Commander has with Clarke, it's killing Bell."

"Probably just as much as whatever he has with Clarke is killing Lexa."

"Clarke has to forgive herself first though. For everything."

Raven simply nods in agreement. The two sit in silence before Raven breaks it.

"So why didn't you bet on anyone?"

Octavia shrugs.

"I bet on Clarke."

* * *

"Indra!" Lexa calls for her general. Soon, the dark skinned woman comes in, her expression unreadable, save for the eyes full of concern for the young Commander.

"Heda."

"Send someone to Polis. I may have to stay for a while longer."

Indra raises an eyebrow at her superior.

"Nothing is set, Indra. I'm simply planning ahead."

Indra simply nods. The woman hesitates before opening her mouth to speak.

"Are you sure you're doing the right thing, Heda?"

This time, Lexa only nods.

* * *

**_This was a quick update just to let you guys know that this is still going. Thanks for all the support you guys! New chapter soon! I think I'll be re-reading and editing this one too! Til the next update! -M _**


	15. Chapter 15

Bellamy makes his way straight to Abby upon returning to Camp Jaha.

"Chancellor, the Commander is on her way. I assured her that we will be intercepting all attacks from anyone within the camp. We don't have to restrain anyone, do we?"

"Bellamy." Kane greets from behind Abby. "Everything has been taken care of. The Commander and her entourage can expect nothing but civil interaction from our people." The leader nods before making his way over to Clarke's tent.

As he approaches, he takes note that Lincoln had beat him to the tent, and was already wrapped around Octavia.

"Octavia!" Bellamy called to his sister.

"You okay, Bell?" The younger brunette asks, concern for her brother etched all over her face as she extracts herself from Lincoln's arms to meet him. "Clarke needs this. Lexa understands, remember?" She says softly, hands on both of Bellamy's cheeks.

Bellamy simply shrugs before trying to peek into the tent.

"Is she okay?"

Octavia hesitates before shaking her head slowly.

"She refuses to come out. Raven and I tried to get her out to eat when she woke up from a nap, but she wants to stay inside." She explains. "I think she still can't look at everyone's faces without remembering the mountain. Said she wanted to be alone too."

Bellamy nods again.

"Did you at least take something in there for her to eat before leaving her?"

Octavia gives him a look before nodding.

"What did the Commander say?" Raven asks from behind them, slightly limping toward them from her own tent.

"She's coming." Bellamy says with no emotion, whatsoever. "I guess I should go in there to tell Clarke."

* * *

"Clarke?" Bellamy calls out to his blonde co-leader, who was currently staring at her hands like she wanted them to disappear.

_You love her. _His sister's voice echoes in his head as he observes Clarke as she slowly comes to her senses.

"Did she say she's coming?" Clarke asks as soon as she sees him.

_What? No 'Hi Bellamy? Was your trip well?'_

"She did. She says she planned on coming here tomorrow anyway."

Clarke's face falls.

"Oh. So tomorrow then?"

Bellamy shakes his head before putting a hand on the blonde's shoulder.

"Don't worry, Princess. She says she's going to try and come tonight."

Clarke nods before looking around the room.

"Need anything else?" Bellamy asks after a short moment of awkward silence.

"Nah. Thanks though."

Bellamy nods before turning to leave the tent.

"Actually Bell... Could you stay here with me for a while?"

Bellamy nods and sits down on Octavia's bed awkwardly.

_Anything for you, Princess._

* * *

Lexa remained quiet as the horses that carried her and her guards galloped toward the direction of Camp Jaha. She clearly instructed Indra to not let anyone follow her behind but her General was incorrigible. "Have at least some of my trusted warriors follow you. You might not even notice them when you speed away to your _plans_." Indra ended with a hint of sarcasm. Lexa let her General's attitude slide.

"They better keep up with me then" Lexa said with a smirk on her face. She purposely chose the fastest horse in their clan but even Indra thought ahead and made her warriors wait for her several paces ahead to her direction.

She directs her horse to a different direction, hoping that her guards would be unfamiliar to the shortcut. Lexa only discovered the said shortcut when she brought Clarke back.

Lexa slows and listens to the hooves of her guards' horses. She stays put, using the trees for camouflage. Her guards speed off to the usual path as she waits for all of them to be out of her line of sight before she goes off on her own. Buying her a few hours ahead of them.

_I can have more time with her. I'll be there for her as me. Not as the Commander but as Lexa._

_Lexa._ Clarke's voice echoes in her head. The way that her Sky counterpart says her name is her constant voice of reason. A name. Two syllables. That is more than enough to bring her back into the reality she's in. She is her people's Commander but she is more than that now.

She is Clarke's _Lexa._

* * *

Clarke falls asleep. Soon, Bellamy steps out of the blonde's tent and makes his way across the camp, where a crowd was forming around Kane.

Kane voices out a plan to find the other parts of the fallen Ark and everyone who is able to fight and move is on board. Bellamy needed this distraction the most. He needed to sort out his emotions. Sort out about how he stands in Clarke's life.

_I'm being such an ass here._

He is fully aware of the fact that he's just running away from facing Clarke when the Commander gets back. He doesn't know what it is that he could say or do just to make Clarke understand. To make her _see_ him as he sees her.

_You can never make Clarke do anything unless she wants to do it too._

Bellamy smiled at the thought. It was one of the many reasons why he listens to her. Deep down, their just both stubborn that way.

"Bellamy!" He hears from behind him. Octavia, who has been recently recruited as part of the guard, was walking towards him with Lincoln in tow. Bellamy knew that his younger sister wasn't happy with his decision to just leave.

"I have to do this, O." He says apologetically. "I need time."

"You're being unfair, Bell. She needs you."

"Unfair?" Bellamy asks, confused at Octavia's words. "How could this be unfair when I'm doing it for our people?"

At that moment Bellamy wanted to tell Octavia that what's unfair was Clarke taking off without a single thought about how the rest of them felt. _Where was she when we needed her? When _I_ needed her? _It wasn't as if Bellamy didn't understand, because he did. Quite perfectly, in fact. Clarke needed time to sort her guilt out, and she needed to accept the fact that she had to do it for her people's sake. But then again, she hadn't done that. Not yet! The Commander had taken her back, and it was quite obvious that she hasn't forgiven herself for irradiating the mountain.

Bellamy gives his sister a tight lipped smile.

"The Commander will take care of her. And you guys will do to. She doesn't need me."

Octavia sighs, knowing that this was a lost cause. Instead, she nods and raises an eyebrow at her brother.

"How are you going to tell her you're leaving?" Octavia asks.

Bellamy shrugs.

"She won't notice that I'm gone. The Commander will be here when I leave anyway."

* * *

Later that evening, as the fire at the center of the camp started to die, the silence of the camp was interrupted by Monroe, who was positioned at the top of the watchtower by the Camp's gates.

"The Commander's here!"

"Open the gates!" Kane orders as he walked towards the gate. Murmurs start to spread as three guards moved to let Lexa in.

"Lexa, welcome." Kane greets, motioning for a guard to take the horse the young commander just descended from. The crowd quickly disperses as Kane addresses the Commander diplomatically.

Lexa nods at Kane before looking around for Bellamy. It doesn't take long for her to find his eyes in the crowd before making her way toward him.

"Where is she?" She asks, her heart racing at the thought of seeing the blonde again. It didn't help that a good number of the delinquents were right behind Bellamy, watching her every move.

"In her tent. The Chancellor wants to see you first." Bellamy says, guiding Lexa towards Abby's tent. Lexa, however, ignores him and walks straight toward the direction of Clarke's tent, only stopping to talk to Octavia and Raven who were positioned by the tent's entrance.

"Has she eaten anything today?" Octavia gives Lexa the same look she gave Bellamy earlier, before nodding.

"Lincoln." Lexa addresses the grounder-turned-sky person.

"Heda." Lincoln answers, unable to hide the small resentment in his voice.

Lexa nods at him, before entering Clarke's tent.

* * *

Lexa's stony facade quickly crumbles at the sight of Clarke, curled up on the her cot.

"Forgive yourself, Clarke. _Beja_. I can't stand seeing you like this." She whispers as she walks closer to the blonde. She stops right in front of Clarke, a hand reaching out to touch her hair.

"You came." Clarke says, startling Lexa. She then nods, before sitting carefully on Octavia's bed.

"I couldn't ever resist you. You know that." Lexa says, wondering where her words came from. Clarke bitterly laughs, as she recalls Lexa walking away at the mountain, despite her pleas.

"But you did." Clarke answers, instantly regretting her words at Lexa's crestfallen face. Of course, Lexa knew that she was not totally blameless in Clarke's situation right now. Clarke wouldn't have to kill all those people, had she decided to stay.

_But it was for my people. She would have done the same._

"You would have done the same." Lexa answers, repeating Clarke's words when they first saw each other again.

Clarke stays still in silence. She understood Lexa, but nothing changes the fact that she had left her when she needed her the most.

"Clarke. Listen." Lexa steps closer to her an turns her around to face her. "You will be in danger soon, even more so from before."

"What?"Clarke looks at her quizzically, noticing the change in her demeanor.

"Can you recall when I told you about how you were quite famous for burning Anya's entire army?" Lexa looks at her seriously, trying to make Clarke understand her people's way of thinking. Clarke nods.

"You got every other clan's attention." Lexa knows that Clarke was capable of taking care of herself but her life was at stake, and Lexa would be damned if she let Clarke get hurt again.

"There has been some talk between the clans recently. You were ruthless and merciless, and that means power." Clarke continues to nod as she slowly understands what is going to come to her.

"Clarke you won't be safe. When you wiped out all of the mountain, you have become even more powerful. A power that is both feared and wanted. Leaders will look for you and kill you to get your power."

"What about you? Wouldn't you want this power too?" Clarke finally found her voice as she completely understood how much her life is at stake.

"I would not violate the treaty that I have achieved between the clans. I would also not violate my treaty with your people even after Mt. Weather." Lexa's looks turns soft. Knowing full well of her betrayal. "But I am not like the other leaders. I may have united them but with your kind of power, there will be people willing to break the treaty and step into war to be able to get that power by killing you."

"Then they can go ahead and kill me."

_I need your spirit to stay where it is. _

"You can't just let them kill you, Clarke." Lexa says, slightly heartbroken for the blonde's overwhelming guilt.

"Then what do you think I should do?"

Lexa had one solution in mind, but this wasn't something that Clarke should worry about right at this moment.

_Come with me to Polis. I'll protect you. _

"Forgive yourself, before anything else." Lexa says, sitting down on Octavia's bed in order to stare into Clarke's blue eyes.

Clarke looks down once again, examining her hands like she wanted them to disappear.

"I couldn't." Clarke says softly. "I've tried doing everything, but I couldn't. And I couldn't stand the looks they were all giving me." She confesses. "Octavia, Raven, and Bellamy. Bellamy tried to treat me normally, but he gave in anyway."

Silence.

"So I pretended to sleep. But I couldn't do that for long either. I can see the faces of all those I killed." She said, before letting out a sob. "I couldn't imagine how it'd be if I actually fell asleep again."

Lexa wanted nothing but to put her arms around the guilty blonde. She hesitated, wondering if she deserved to have her arms around this beautiful, broken young woman. She had caused this, and knew that nothing could ease Clarke's pain. Especially not when she left the blonde to die.

_She asked for you. The least you could do is be there for her._

And so, without letting herself second guess her decision, Lexa stands from Octavia's bed and sits beside Clarke before putting an arm around the blonde.

Lexa didn't know how long they stayed like that. Her arms around Clarke, and her counterpart's head on her shoulder. The two remained silent, Clarke's occasional sobs filling the room.

* * *

Later, a few moments after Clarke's breathing evens out, Octavia enters the tent and stops by the tent flaps, observing the pair's awkward position.

"I didn't want to move her." Lexa explains. "She hasn't slept, apparently."

_You haven't either. For Clarke. _

Octavia's eyebrows raise at Lexa's statement.

"But I just saw her sleeping." Lexa merely gives her a look that confirms that Clarke had pretended to sleep in order to get away from them. Octavia looks sadly at Clarke before meeting the commander's eyes again.

"You should lay her down. Just stay on the bed with her. It's late anyway." Octavia says before settling in her bed. "Lincoln's on guard duty tonight. You don't mind me staying here, do yo?"

Lexa shakes her head and then lays down, pulling Clarke with her. Clarke whimpers, but stops immediately after cuddling closer against Lexa.

Soon, Lexa falls asleep, listening to the Clarke's breathing.

* * *

Bellamy, who was finally ready to tell Clarke that he was joining a search party, makes his way into Clarke and Octavia's tent, fully expecting the Grounder Commander and Clarke to be awake, or at least on separate beds.

Later, the memory of Clarke snuggled against Lexa while Octavia sleeps soundly on her own cot, becomes reason enough for Bellamy to leave without telling Clarke.

_I'm sorry Princess, I've got to do this for myself. _

* * *

**S03E01 WAS AWESOME! You have to tell me what you think of it! Anyway, we have a couple of chapters left at the most, so yeah, keep on reading, reviewing, and subscribing you guys! Thank you!**


	16. Chapter 16

Clarke wakes in the arms of someone, and briefly wonders whose arms those were.

_Lexa._

The blonde turns to look at the Commander and smiles at the sight of her counterpart so peaceful. She then looks over to Octavia's bed, and sees the younger girl also curled up under the itchy blankets.

Suddenly, the heavy feeling in Clarke's chest returns as she remembers the conversation she had with the commander before falling asleep.

_You're in danger. Even more so than before._

How naive could she be to think that there was no more danger? She should have run far away from Lexa before being talked into coming back to camp. Everyone else had been trying to move their lives around for her, but being here with them was just inviting danger into the walls of Camp Jaha.

Clarke ponders on the idea of just giving herself up. She deserved to die anyway, she deserved to just perish after what she had done at the mountain. She had innocent blood on her hands, and just as the grounders say, _jus drein jus daun__._

Her thoughts are interrupted when Lexa's arms tightens around her. She looks at the commander's face again, and jumps a little at the sight of Lexa's green eyes. Lexa awkwardly lets go of Clarke before giving the blonde half a smile.

"You fell asleep. Octavia said I could stay the night. You don't mind, do you?" She whispers before glancing at Octavia's sleeping form. Clarke shakes her head and gives Lexa a smile that does not quite reach her eyes. The commander gives her counterpart a long once over.

"You've been thinking." Lexa says without a hint of doubt in her voice. Clarke simply nods, but a harsh whisper from outside the tent keeps her from opening her mouth.

"O!" A voice calls out. "Octavia Blake! Wake up!" The voice says in a loud whisper again.

Clarke moves from Lexa's arms to let whoever it was outside her tent. The blonde pushes one of the tent's flaps to the side. Monty stands on the other side, eyes wide at the sight of Clarke instead of Octavia. He smiles at her before peeking into the tent to see if Octavia was in there.

"Good Morning Clarke. I'm sorry I woke you." Monty says apologetically. "The Chancellor asked me to come get you and the Commander for breakfast, but I didn't want to cause any trouble with..." He trails off, eyes wandering to Lexa who has moved to stand behind Clarke.

Clarke nods.

"No worries, Monty. I'll wake Octavia and we'll follow you."

Monty nods at Clarke before looking at Lexa.

"Good Morning, Commander."

* * *

Lexa watches Clarke as she moves from the entrance of the tent toward Octavia's bed.

"Octavia." Clarke shakes the young brunette from her slumber. "It's time for breakfast."

Octavia grumbles a response that neither Clarke nor Lexa was able to decipher. The two leaders exchanged looks before shrugging at each other.

"We'll see you there, O." Clarke calls out to her roommate as she and the Commander exited the tent.

Clarke tenses up a little more upon exiting the tent. Lexa watches her as they walked towards the makeshift mess hall, which was at the opposite side of camp.

Lexa reaches out and grabs Clarke's hand, squeezes it firmly, before letting go.

"You can tell me about what's bothering you, Clarke." Lexa breaks the silence. "I'm sorry you had to make that choice. I shouldn't have left..."

Clarke shakes her head at Lexa.

"I told you, I would have done the same. It was a choice I had to make."

"But I could have been at least by your side when you did it."

Clarke shrugs at Lexa.

"You made a choice for your people." She says before walking faster, motioning for the Commander to follow her.

Lexa's heart breaks at the smile that does not reach Clarke's eyes. She frowns at the back of Clarke's head but chooses not to say anything more.

Lexa feels her stoic mask fall into place as she and Clarke approached the mess hall.

* * *

"Commander! Join us." Raven calls out to Lexa as soon as the brunette arrived with Clarke.

Lexa barely spares Raven a glance, earning her an eye roll from the mechanic. She follows Clarke straight to a long table where many of the sky people were lining up for food.

"You can sit with Raven and the others, if you want." Clarke offers. "I'll be right over with your plate."

Lexa shakes her head before offering to do the same for Clarke instead. The blonde chuckles bitterly.

"I'm trying to get away from their looks of pity as long as I can."

Lexa almost frowns. Almost.

"Would you prefer to sit somewhere else, then?" Lexa asks quietly.

Clarke shakes her head, looking at the table where Raven and the rest of her friends were seated before looking over to where her mother and the rest of the council were seated.

"No, it's okay. I'm just... I need them to be normal."

Lexa nods at Clarke before looking at Clarke's friends once again. She tries to spot Bellamy, but fails to find him anywhere around the mess hall.

She checks the group's table again. She knew who just to talk to.

"I'll be right back." She tells Clarke, before walking purposefully towards the table where they were all seated.

* * *

Raven listened as Jasper talked about another one of his experiences inside Mount Weather. She wanted to roll her eyes at him for his exaggerated stories, but opted to not say anything after concluding that this was her friend's way of trying to cope with his great loss. He talked about himself, but never, not once talked about the woman whose lifeless body he was cradling moments after Clarke, Bellamy, and Monty had irradiated the mountain.

She saw Monty trying to pull him away from the woman's body from her place in Wick's arms just before their group exited the mountain and sealed its doors. He struggled against his best friend and refused to move from his place. She saw Monty whisper his apologies into Jasper's ear, but the latter pushed the former further away every time he tried to apologize. Defeated, Monty leaves him and walks away.

That was the last of what Raven remembered inside the mountain before eventually passing out. The next thing she remembers is waking up at Camp Jaha and handing Jasper his goggles back, wondering how her friend was coerced into letting go of his lover's body.

What changed after that day, she doesn't know.

Raven played with the contents of her plate, getting lost in her thoughts, and only resurfaces when a hand lightly taps her shoulder.

She turns her head and barely contains her surprise upon seeing that it was the Commander.

"Follow me." The brunette orders before turning to walk towards the center of the camp.

* * *

Raven stops walking when the Commander does. The sudden stop causes her to lose her balance, but the Commander catches her before she hurts herself.

Shyly trying to regain her composure, Raven gives the Commander a smirk.

"You called, Commander?"

Lexa simply nods. She hesitates for a moment, looking towards the mess hall, where Clarke was waiting.

"You and your friends have to stop treating Clarke like she's fragile. What she needs right now is the assurance that everything is normal, that nothing has changed even after she killed every single mountain to save your people."

Raven's eyes widen at the Commander's orders. Did she just...? She was so going to win this bet with Lincoln!

"Oh and Raven?" Lexa adds. "I need you to keep an eye on her when I leave, okay?"

Okay then. Maybe not.

Raven was almost afraid to ask, but she knew she had to. Bellamy just left, and the Commander leaving would be a problem. As much as she didn't want to admit it, Raven knew that this was going to destroy Clarke.

"You're leaving? Where are you going?" _She needs you. She told me you're the only one who understands._

Lexa's eyebrows furrow at Raven's forwardness. Only Titus, Indra, and Gustus had the guts to question her as this mechanic did.

"To the Capitol. That's where I need to be." Lexa answers, briefly wondering why she was indulging this sky girl's questions.

"But what about Clarke?" Raven sees the pain in Lexa's eyes, and decides that maybe it won't be so hard to convince her to stay.

"She will understand." Lexa says dismissively. "Besides, this is where she belongs. She's going to be safe here, right?"

"She needs you." Raven tries to reason. This wasn't just about the bet anymore. Her friend was traumatized and the two people who swore stay with her are leaving.

"And my people need me more." Lexa counters, wanting this conversation to be over. She was already so hesitant about leaving, and Raven wasn't helping her decision. "Just tell Bellamy, okay?"

"That's the thing. He left last night." Raven says in one breath. "He volunteered to search for the remaining Ark stations. We don't know when they'll be back."

"And he didn't tell Clarke?" The Commander asks. Raven shakes her head.

"Raven, Heda, what's going on?" Octavia, who was on the way to the mess hall, interrupts before Lexa can say anything else.

Lexa glances at Octavia before looking back at Raven.

"We'll continue this later." She says before walking away.

Raven looks at Octavia and shrugs at her.

"I'll tell you later."

* * *

_**So sorry for the long wait! It has been a challenge to come up with a chapter after everything that has happened in Season 3. Anyway, we'll try to come up with the last 3-5 chapters (YES IT'S GOING TO BE A WEEE BIT LONGER) soon. I swear, it won't take as long. I hope. -M**_


	17. Chapter 17

After breakfast, Clarke and Lexa go back to the tent the former shared with Octavia. The two women sit in silence, their minds occupied by thoughts of the future.

"Do you really think your people want to kill me?" Clarke breaks the silence.

"It is a possibility." Lexa replies.

Clarke's eyebrows furrow at the brunette's distant reply, but does not press on.

"Clarke..." Lexa begins, finally addressing the blonde who sat on her roommate's cot. She had to tell her about Bellamy. She had to tell her that she was leaving, too. She knew that if she didn't tell her now, she wouldn't be able to leave at all.

"Can we take a break from anything serious right now? I just... I want to stop thinking." Setting aside the long apology she had prepared in her head, the Commander gives in to Clarke's request.

Silence fills the room once more, but not for long.

"Lexa?" The blonde leader starts.

"Yes, Clarke?"

"Why are you here?"

"What do you mean?"

"I know I asked for you to come, but you didn't have to."

Lexa shrugs.

"I couldn't turn my back on you. Not again." Lexa releases a breath she didn't know she was holding. "Besides, I brought you back here."

"But what about your people?"

"That's another problem for another day, Clarke."

"You don't owe me anything, Lexa. I know I haven't been myself, but I'm trying to move on."

"Would you like me to leave, then?" Lexa asks, holding her breath for her counterpart's answer.

"I want you here. I asked you to come, remember?"

"_Sha." _Yes. "And I want to be here. The least I could do is keep you company." _Not for long, though._

"I have company. And I don't want to be a bother-"

"Clarke." Lexa says again. "I know you're struggling. I know you want to be okay, but you are not. And I want to be here for you. I caused all this, after all."

"I would have been fine eventually. Raven and O would've helped me. Bellamy, too."

The commander bitterly chuckles upon hearing Bellamy's name. How could he have left without saying anything to Clarke? Yes, he needed time for himself, but he didn't have to leave without telling her.

"Clarke..." Lexa hesitates. This was it. Clarke had to know that Bellamy had left.

"He's gone, isn't he?" The blonde asks.

Lexa's eyes widen. How had Clarke known?

"How did you find out?"

"No one has seen him all morning." She lets out a sad laugh. "And Octavia spent the most of breakfast trying to dodge my questions about her brother."

"They say he left to look for the rest of your people."

Clarke sighs. Lexa watches Clarke for a moment. The blonde's eyes were full of hurt and confusion.

"You're very special to him." Clarke's eyebrows furrow at Lexa's statement, but she does not say anything. "He went all the way to TonDC to find me, just because you asked. He infiltrated that mountain, because you asked."

"So why'd he leave without saying goodbye?"

"Maybe he doesn't feel like you need him."

"What do you mean?"

Lexa doesn't say anything, because quite honestly, she didn't know what to tell Clarke.

The Commander lets out a sigh of relief at the sight of Octavia making her way into the tent. It's been a few hours since Lexa saw anyone, but right now she could take the diversion.

"I'm sorry. Was I interrupting something? I just need to grab my jacket." Octavia asked, sensing the tension between the two leaders.

"No. Lexa was just telling me how Bellamy left without saying goodbye." Clarke replied to the younger girl.

"I'm sorry, Clarke. I wanted to tell you, but I didn't know how."

"You could have told me, Octavia! You didn't have to lie and pretend not to know where he went." Clarke was angry. Lexa knew she should probably interfere, but at this point, it was better for Clarke to just let her frustration out.

"I'm sick of everyone thinking I can't take it! How can you keep something this big from me? How can Bellamy keep something like this from me? How can Bellamy just leave? And how can you just let him? I came back and I needed him to stay! Does he not know that?!"

Lexa sees something snap in Octavia, but the words of the younger brunette were out before she could calm her down.

"Seriously, Clarke?" She says curtly. "Do you really think you're the victim here? Is your head seriously that far up your ass that you couldn't even understand how this isn't about your feelings anymore?!"

Lexa tries to interfere, but Octavia doesn't give her the chance.

"You know why Bellamy left? Because he's had enough of giving you everything you want! He's tired of you stringing him along!"

"I wasn't-"

"No, Clarke! He tried to be here for you. After what happened at the mountain, after you guys killed all those people, you chose to run. You were so concerned about how bad you felt, you forgot that Bellamy and Monty were right there with you when you chose to irradiate that mountain. He tried to stop you, but you wouldn't change your mind. He let you go, and trusted that you'd come back when you were finally alright."

Octavia was livid, and Clarke knew it.

"A couple of days later, the Commander brings you back, but you were still obviously so broken. Again, Bellamy tried to be there for you. He tried to get you to talk, he tried to get you to just move on. But you didn't. He was going to try and make sure you were alright, but you asked for Lexa . Do you know how hard it was for him to go to TonDC to ask Lexa to come back for you, when he was there trying to be the person you needed?!"

"I didn't ask Bellamy to be that person, Octavia."

"And yet you let him try. Over and over." Octavia quickly replies. "Don't be so naive, Clarke. You knew my brother was falling for you, but you didn't even try to tell him he had no chance."

Clarke gasps. Bellamy loved her? How could she not have noticed anything?

"He's my best friend."

"And yet you can't tell him that's all he'll ever be!"

"I didn't know, Octavia." Clarke tries to explain. "I thought he was just being a good friend."

Octavia shakes her head at Clarke.

"Whatever."

Without grabbing the jacket that she came back to the tent for, Octavia walks off without looking back.

It was about time Clarke knew how unfair she was being.

* * *

Lexa and Clarke sit in few moments of awkward silence as they watched Octavia walk away.

"Do you not return his feelings, Clarke?" The commander asks, fully knowing what answer she wanted to hear. "If he's your best friend, then why won't you give him the chance to be more than that?"

"I-" Clarke starts, unsure of what to say next. Of course, she's questioned her feelings for Bellamy before, but that was it. She couldn't see him as anything other than her best friend. This time, Clarke shrugs at Lexa.

"I couldn't risk it. He's far too important for me to risk. He's the only one who understands me..." _Other than you,_

"Then all the better for you to give him a chance." Lexa questions her own sanity the moment those words come out of her mouth. "I'm sure your mother wouldn't have any objections if you were to pursue something with Bellamy."

Clarke freezes. Have things changed since the kiss they shared? Was Lexa only here out of guilt and not because she cared for her?

"What do you mean?"

"I just..." Lexa hesitates. "I would be very much comfortable leaving you, if I knew I'd be leaving you with someone capable of keeping you safe." _Even if it meant letting you go._

"Leaving? You're leaving?"

"_Sha." _Lexa confirms. "I've postponed my trip back to the capitol a few times already." Lexa looks around the room, before finally meeting those blue eyes she's fallen in love with.

"My people need me." She says weakly.

"But, I-" _But, I need you._ "Okay, then. When do you leave?"

"I was just waiting to tell you... I leave as soon as possible." Clarke nods before getting up and making her way out of the tent.

* * *

Raven had just finished talking to Octavia about what went down between her and Clarke, and made it clear that she was not going to pick a side. She had advised Octavia to cool down for a moment before trying to talk to Clarke with a level head, and the younger brunette had agreed.

However, on her way to give Clarke the same talk, she bumps into Lexa, who seemed to be rushing after something.

"Clarke!" Lexa calls out. Raven follows Lexa's line of sight and finds Clarke walking away.

_What the hell is their problem now?_

"What happened, Commander?"

"Clarke knows about Bellamy." Raven nods. "She also knows I'm going back to Polis."

"And I take it she's not happy with the news?"

Lexa nods. She then tries to follow Clarke, but Raven stops her.

"Just leave Clarke for a while, Commander. She just needs to cool down." Lexa nods again.

* * *

Clarke wasn't angry at Lexa. Really. She wasn't.

But hearing Lexa say that she was leaving? That sucked.

And you know what sucked more?

Realizing that she perfectly understood why Lexa had to leave. That she loved Lexa, yes she _loved_ Lexa, enough to be content with second place. That maybe, she shouldn't have come back here with Lexa in the first place.

What more reason does she have to stay? Bellamy's gone, Lexa's leaving, and staying is just going to put her people in danger.

She had to leave.

_Tonight._

* * *

**_So this was supposed to be 3.5k words long, but the progression is weird enough without having to dump so many happenings in one chapter. The next one will probably be out soon._**


End file.
